Negotiating our dreams: Part 1 of 4

Since writing my HBR post Can Nice Girls Negotiate? and quite possibly because I am continually negotiating with my children, my interest was piqued when I saw this 4-week Virtual Learning course titled She Negotiates! featuring Victoria Pynchon Esq., a former commercial litigator in S. California, and hosted by Lisa Gates.

I don’t have time, I thought.  But the idea "you may want to take this course" kept pinging me so I participated in the introductory class. One of the first statistics cited was: “On average, women pay $1,400 more than men for a car".  And they had me.

Anna Lappe wrote, Every time you spend money, you're casting a vote for the kind of world you want.  Do I want a world in which I pay $1,400 more for a car so that the person from whom I'm buying won't think I'm pushy?  Or one in which I fund my child's education, a non-profit, a business, a spa vacation?

So I negotiated, asking if I could pay a reduced rate for the course (list price is $375) in exchange for blogging about what I’m learning?

They agreed.  It's early, but based on what I've already learned, my gut tells me that by June 30, I'll be much better at casting my votes for the world I want, at negotiating my way toward my dreams.

Stay tuned.

Comments

[Lisa Gates]

Whitney, thanks for posting this! I like it when healthy skepticism meets possibility and possibility wins :)

Looking forward to what next week brings...fasten your seatbelts.

[Christine]

ohmygosh that's awesome. You negotiated the price even before starting the class. You will be their best student, I'm sure!! :)

[Dana King]

There are far more opportunities to negotiate than I think I realize. I negotiated a significant reduced rate for my son's high school tuition. And many other things. It does take a lot of emotional energy to do. I have to weigh the benefits. As far as cars go, I drive mine as long as I can in large measure to avoid the buying process. Even when my husband does the negotiating I feel a bit of unwelcome stress. So I probably need this course.

[Janna]

I recently negotiated a space expansion of my tutoring center with my landlord. The trade was my paying for the renovation in exchange for free rent for a year. In the process, I actually said to him, "I don't want you to think I'm steamrolling you."

Whaaat?!! I couldn't believe that came out of my mouth since it was he who suggested the trade. Even when something is being negotiated that is fair (and even a bit generous on the other person's part), I sometimes hedge from it because I don't want to seem greedy.

[EHD]

Love it!!! I adore beautiful things, but I refuse to pay full price for just about anything.

Having said that, there are times when I over-pay or accept under-compensation just because I want to be on the generous end of the bargain. As long as that is a free choice (and not a default or coerced position), that is absolutely fine--it reflects my values and makes me feel good.

[Kathleen]

I'm cracking up that you negotiated a reduced price for a negotiations course! I wonder how many others have tried to negotiate before starting, also. I think that those who try should get it for free as a "go to the head of the class" sort of prize! You're awesome Whitney!

[Maria]

I'm so excited that you will be sharing what you are learning! What a great deal for us! Thanks!

[Jenny Whitcomb]

I just have to mention that without even realizing it, you negotiated your way into my heart the first time I met you.

I am anxious to hear about this course!!

Enjoy~

[Jennifer]

Hello Whitney--I am a newcomer to your blog a friend in Cambridge told me about you. So I first wanted to say thank you for your posts I am inspired!! One of my bosses walked in and I jokingly told him how I was now empowered and I was going to start asking which acutally led to a brief but serious conversation where he encouraged me to get everything in order and approach our HR department for a raise in salary. So I loved this blog and the POST article! Thanks for inspiring me!!

[Bonnie White]

I used to be a better negotiator before. Now I worry that I am too pushy, too greedy, too agressive. How did that happen? When did it happen? What's the cure?

[Katrina]

Hi Whitney! Long time!

I've just gotten into blogging again after quite a long hiatus. I thought I would see how you are doing, and sure enough, here you are still going strong. This thread makes me think of Ask For It!, a book my women's leadership group at work just reviewed. Very eye-opening with a lot of hard statistics.

Love reading your blog, as usual.

Best,

Katrina