Cindy Crosby: Getting smart about birth

Cindy Crosby was born in Portland, Oregon, and grew up in Chico, California.  She earned her Bachelor's degree in Humanities, with a German literature emphasis and received her Master's degree in Teaching English as a Second Language.  She loves other cultures and has enjoyed living abroad twice, first in Vienna, Austria and later Okinawa, Japan.  She is a certified Labor Doula, Childbirth Educator, and Mother to three children living in Derby, Kansas with her husband where she works from home at www.birth-smart.com.

***
My oldest son was born on July 10th, 2003.

The pregnancy had been emotionally difficult as I had previously experienced three miscarriages and always had the underlyng fear that something would go wrong.  There was so much I couldn't control, I tried to focus on what I could.  I learned and prepared all I could for the experience of giving birth.  I read several books and took two different childbirth classes.  I loved learning about the fear-tension-pain cycle and how birth could be less painful if women could overcome their fear and relax.  I also thought it was interesting that our bodies produce endorphines -- natural pain killers.  I wanted to believe these ideas were true.

Source:  istockphoto

As I labored in the hospital, it was a very different experience than I had imagined years earlier.  The lights were low and soft music with birth affirmations was playing.  I remember hearing words like, "I trust my body, it knows what to do" and "My birth will be easy because I'm so relaxed."  I moved into several different positions -- kneeling on the floor and laying over a birth ball while my husband or doula massaged my back.  I also spent time in the shower and bath at various points during labor.  Nurses came in periodically to listen to my son's heartbeat.  They would say reassuring things like "he's tolerating the contractions fine."  I breathed calmly and slowly, even falling asleep between contractions, feeling very little pain.  But I was working hard, wondering for a brief moment why I wasn't relaxing with an epidural and watching movies.  After some encouragement from my husband, I again focused on my labor and was soon ready to push.

When my son was born, I was euphoric.  For the first time in my life, I felt like I had truly accomplished something.  I was thrilled that those ideas from my childbirth preparation proved true for my birth.  When I had him weighed and bathed, I was right there with him, up and walking around.  My recovery was speedy, my transition to motherhood smooth.

Seven years later, as a doula/childbirth educator, it is difficult for me to tell this story.  I try not to talk about my own experience because I don't want the mothers I serve to feel they need to make the same decisions I did.  And yet, my story is important because it's what led me to become a childbirth professional. I feel driven to help other women to feel as supported and empowered in childbirth as I did.

Source:  istockphoto

So many of the voices we hear are telling us what we can't do, either because we are not capable or because we are not allowed.  Maternity care, in particular, is impersonal and standardized.   Women are so afraid of labor, that most do not consider attempting it without an epidural.  Widespread paranoia of malpractice motivates doctors and hospitals to perform many interventions routinely in labor, despite research indicating that they are not helpful (and even harmful).

My second doula birth was a powerful learning experience.  The mom had a common variation of labor:  a baby in posterior position.  As is often the case with this variation, her labor was long.  Really long.  At one point, she went 7 hours, only dialating from 6-7cm; I would not have blamed her for a minute if she had opted for an epidural or decided to augment her labor, but she persisted in her goal for an unmedicated birth.  Despite being tired, there were no signs of distress with the baby and she continued her labor.  Eventually, the baby was born with no complications.  By the time she was born, that baby had rotated around 270 degrees through her mom's position changes and was born normally (after that very long labor).

Source:  Kimberly Mitchell Photography

At about the same time, a friend had an induction and epidural.  Her baby was also posterior, but since she was immobile, he was not able to turn as well during labor.  The doctor attempted to reach up and manually turn the baby.  He also used forceps to deliver and it was a very traumatic birth, which came close to ending in cesarean.  When I contrasted those two experiences, it was a powerful illustration of how our bodies really do work and give us the best outcomes if we trust them to do their job.  Some doctors would have been quick to label the first example as a "dysfunctional" labor, but it is clear that her labor functioned just fine; it actually worked more effectively because of not taking the more common interventive approach of modern maternity care.

Because of my background in linguistics, I find it fascinating to observe how empowering (or disempowering) our language can be.  When I work with women, I try to help them recognize that they do have choices, if they want them.  When we talk to a midwife or doctor, instead of saying, "am I allowed to birth in an upright position?" we can say, "I have been researching the benefits of giving birth in an upright position.  Would you be comfortable supporting me in that?"  You are not asking for permission; you are asking how your provider feels about an option you are considering.  Maybe he/she will think it's a great idea, maybe he/she will be uncomfortable with it.  If that is the case then the power is yours to decide how important it is to you and if you would want to compromise or change providers.  The idea is that women counsel with their providers to assist them in making choices, not make the providers decide for them.  Instead of asking, "what should I do?" we can ask "what are my options?"

Used by permission:  Kimberly Mitchell

My goal is not to teach women to disobey doctor's orders or refuse all medical treatment.  In some cases it is life-saving and necessary.  But I do want to help women to find providers they can truly trust and communicate with them in a way that will help enhance their care, so that if interventions are chosen, they can own those choices.

When I look back on my own three birth experiences, I made different choices with each one, based on my circumstances and knowledge at the time, but they were each empowering and wonderful experiences for me.  In part, because I had people who believed in me, and respected my choices.   I now have the privilege of helping other women find the way to their own best births.  That's what Birth Smart is about -- providing women with knowledge, tools, encouragement, and support.  My message to women everywhere is simply, "I believe in you".
***

Was the birth of your children as you had envisioned it you would be? 

What about the birth of your dreams? 

Are you doing professionally what you studied to do?  If not, how does what you studied in school enhance your chosen career?

After you read this blog, I'd recommend you go back and read Dreaming with Moms.  There really is power in giving birth, and in being a mother.

You may also enjoy Dr. Debra Bingham's Taking Birth Back.

Comments

[Stephanie Lee]

AMAZING!!! I had the blessing of meeting Cindy is Okinawa Japan about 3 years ago. If I had not known her and heard her speak so passionately about her beliefs in a woman's body I don't think I would EVER have imagined having a natural childbirth. Today I am proud to say that I delivered my 2nd child VBAC after 12 hours of labor NATURALLY! All 9 lbs. 6 ozs. of him! Cindy inspired me and I hope that through this article she gets a chance to inspire others as well!

[Matt Langdon]

During the labour for our daughter, my wife had been going without any "assistance". Everyone was happy with that. Then there was a shift change and a new staff member walked in and said, "Okay, let's start the epidural." A stunning assumption - and one delivered at a very vulnerable time.

The influence of the commonplace and of authority is scary sometimes.

[Laura]

I am so impressed with Cindy and her dedication to helping women. Equally amazing is her pursuit of a profession that she can blend with her responsibilities for her three young ones and family.

After a positive birth experience of my own, I've started to pay more attention to how other women describe their medical treatment and the options they have. Language is a powerful tool and I like that Cindy has pointed to that.

[Maria]

Wonderful post Cindy, I'm going to share your website with all the young moms I know!

[Angie]

Great Post, Cindy!! Brings me back to that long labor with Addison and how with your "I believe in you" heart of hearts, I get to be proud of my body and it's miracle of working through all of those 'complications' as the Doctors would call them. I can not wait to share this!

[Amy]

A subject definitely too close to home right now, but very timely. Thank you!

[Corktree]

As I'm looking into Doula certification and midwifery training, this is great to read.

I also like the emphasis on language empowering us in our experiences, something that I learned with my last natural birth. Great thoughts.

[Cindy]

@Stephanie - Many congratulations to you for experiencing the power within you. Not sure if you've seen my post on "Big Babies" http://birth-smart.com/2010/11/06/big-baby/. Thought you might appreciate that!

@Matt - So true! Within the context of authority, an option can often be interpreted as a recommendation or even a requirement (by both the giver and receiver).

@Laura - "My doctor made me get induced." is so different than, "I chose to follow the recommendation to induce". It may be a fine line, but in my mind, makes a huge difference.

@Maria - THANK YOU!! I have a lot of resources for expectant moms and more coming.

@Angie - I marvel at how little I actually did to assist you. Your wonderful birth was your accomplishment. Thanks for all you taught me.

@Amy - Whatever your experiences, no doubt you did THE BEST you could based on your circumstances. We continually have opportunities learn and grow, which can open up even greater possibilities in the future. All the best to you!

@Corktree - Best of luck with your training! If you have any questions about your training options - there are a lot of good ones out there, feel free to contact me.

[Lisle]

I can't tell you how much I wish I'd known you when I was having my first baby. It was so much different than I'd expected, and I was young and didn't know enough to figure out what questions to ask. Couple that with a doctor who knew he knew more than me, and it was kind of an awful experience. I got smart quick, though and changed doctors. I'm so glad you're out there, and that the internet and friends in common make it so I can pass you along.

[Cindy]

Lisle - I'm so sorry you had a bad experience. Choosing a supportive provider is KEY . . . good for you figuring that out (even without my help). I really appreciate your comment and hope that my blog can be helpful to you and others in the future.