Be Competent

My 3rd-grade teacher Mrs. Schmerker (sp) had just written they'er on the board.  I'd raised my hand, and announced to the entire class, "You spelled it wrong.  It's supposed to be they're.

"What do YOU know?", she nearly spat back at me.

I suspect the memory got dredged up because one of my everyday goals for 2012 is to be competent.

1. No more playing dumb like I did in high school and college
2. No more not talking the skirmishing kind of shop because only men do that.
3. No more not speaking up for fear that someone, like my 3rd grade teacher, may shame or gaslight me.

In Umair Haque's post Mastering the Art of Living Meaningfully Well he urges us to write down three important lessons.  Mine are:

1. Dare to disrupt yourself.
2. Dream your very own dream.
3. Do.

How can I live these lessons if I'm not willing to be competent out loud?

Some days I'll do really well.  On others, I'll fail miserably.

I'll then pick myself up, my recovery time becoming increasingly faster. 

Because I'm learning.

Are you competent out loud?

In some areas of your life?  But not others?

If you need some encouragement, check out this article suggesting we learn fastest when we fail 2/3 of the time.

P.S.  At @theherocc's suggestion, here's rephrasing -- I am a competent person.

Comments

[Deb Mills-Scofield]

So true - our public school system hammers in the fear of failure, of looking stupid which stays with us - so we worry if we're really competent - and then diminish our ability to learn and teach others - thank you for your post - all of life is risk/reward - and in 2012, let's define those differently as you suggest - a blessed new year Whitney!

[Matt Langdon (@theherocc)]

Check out this article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower/201112/is-the-secret-change-all-in-how-you-phrase-it

Perhaps you should be phrasing it as, "I am a competent person".

[Ernie Johnston]

Confidence comes in many levels. I find more confident I am, the less I need to correct others publicly. Have you considered doing so in private by asking a question and preserve their dignity? Encourage them, it is a Win-Win outcome.

[Whitney]

I really appreciate all of your suggestions. Yes, Ernie I am learning to pull people aside privately... my 3rd grade self would be proud. And Matt -- love the "how you phrase it" article. Psychology is endlessly fascinating!