When you leave a comment, or post to Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+ or Facebook (see sample tweet below), you'll be entered to win an autographed copy of Smart Trust. The contest will close on Wednesday, January 18 at midnight (EDT); I'll announce the winner on Thursday, January 19.
Two weeks ago, Stephen M.R. Covey and Greg Link sent me a copy Smart Trust, a book about how to have high trust in a low-trust world. Their premise being, "we've become very good at recognizing the cost of trusting too much, we're not nearly as good at recognizing the cost of not trusting enough." Covey is the author of the New York Times bestseller The Speed of Trust. Greg Link is the strategist behind the blockbuster success of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
My litmus test when I'm approached about "endorsing a book" is simple: If I can genuinely connect to what the authors have written, schedule permitting, I will.
Smart Trust passed muster, particularly because as I've written here, trust is not one of my strong suits, but I want it to be.
You will likely have very different learnings than I did, but here are my three key discoveries:
1) I don't always distrust. Sometimes I blindly trust, toggling between the two. This either/or paradigm is a tough way to live. Writes Frank Crane, "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough." When I've decided to move out of the tormented state, I have frequently trusted too much, regret ensues, reinforcing the mistrust.
What had never occurred to me is that there is the middle road of "smart trust." As the authors explain, "Smart trust is judgement. It's a competency and a process that enables us to operate with high trust in a low-trust world. It minimizes risk and maximizes possibilities by optimizing (1) a propensity to trust and (2) analysis." This book provides a rationale and tactical advice for trusting smartly. With this book fresh on my mind, I practiced smart trust in a recent negotiation. It's a much better way to operate. The less torment in my life, the better.
2) I'm not as trustworthy as I thought I was. And, if I will become more trustworthy, I will actually trust more. Let me explain what I mean. I cancel on people not infrequently. Not to be rude, but because I overcommit, get overextended. Blind spot no longer blind, I realize this breeds mistrust. If I will be more careful about what I commit to, and then keep those commitments, to my professional and civic colleagues, to my friends, and my family, and to myself, I will trust more.
3) Because we don't dream well in isolation, when we are neither trustworthy nor trust, we isolate ourselves, making it difficult to dream. However, by optimizing our head (analysis) and our heart (propensity to trust), by learning to discern, we raise the odds of being able to execute our dreams.
Thoughts?
Beyond the general "politicans and businesses can't be trusted" zeitgeist, have you examined trust recently?
How has your ability to trust propelled your dreams forward?
***
When you leave a comment, or post to Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+ or Facebook (see sample tweet below), you'll be entered to win an autographed copy of Smart Trust. The contest will close on Wednesday, January 18 at midnight (EDT); I'll announce the winner on Thursday, January 19.
Here's a sample tweet -- "Big dividends come from the ability to wisely extend trust and be trusted". - @coveylink c @johnsonwhitney #in #smarttrust
Thank you Stephen and Greg for your willingness to send off a signed copy!
Trust...and Faith. They are connected in many ways. During the darkness periods, it is very easy to see if trust was placed appropriately. As we all look back at our lives, it becomes very apparent. In fact, in many ways, it is those friends, etc. that we placed out trust into that shine brightest for us when we are individually at our darkest. On this day celebrating MLK, he as many flag bearers in this world, have always and will always, pay the ultimate price. Some would say they come unarmed to combat, but others recognize the character it takes to wield the most powerful of all weapons... They create the vision from where there was inaction, as a father plants the seeds in the ground to grow the food and flowers for his family. Courage can be defined as the flag is raised, momentum is harnessed and the seeds of change are propelled forward for the betterment of all. It takes faith to trust in yourself and those you choose to place trust in .As our humanity is able to see both, in the light and the darkness, we are better equipped to improve our world, and to see the power of trust placed appropriately. Time teaches us to hone our instincts. We learn not to question what is obvious, and to appreciate that everything is obvious...it was only a matter of time.
One other point...Over extending. This for many is a burden to bare. I myself have fought this at different times for different reasons. Time is also what drives this equation for many. It is the foot on the gas pedal. Disruption is the car running out of the gas. The beauty of disruption is that it allows us to reflect in the darkness about how beautiful the light is. Currently, our world is being humbled. These periods are powerful if used wisely. The reflection we all learn in the darkness allows us to be able to more clearly see the awe inspiring power of our world. One without the other would simply be...unbalanced.
Great post! Important topics that I am sure many, including myself work on everyday.
Destiny = Faith + Vision + Trust + Action
Posted by: Richard W. Rutledge | January 16, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Becoming more trustworthy by not over extending is an interesting solution. Do you think there is a difference in trustworthy and honesty? Sounds like this book resonates with you Whitney.
Posted by: Bonnie White | January 17, 2012 at 02:39 AM
You have inspired me to explore how trustworthy I am.
Posted by: Maria | January 17, 2012 at 08:56 AM
Hhmm, something wonderful to think about. I hope I can read more about it :)
Posted by: Allison | January 17, 2012 at 03:45 PM
First I've had to learn to trust myself and my instincts and feelings. Then I had to learn to trust myself to respond appropriately in most situations. Mostly, I succeed! Then I began to figure out ways to learn to trust others. My dear friend Mimi told me to give people little tests and see how they do. Like, will you get back to me by Friday or asking what advice the person has on a particular problem. So I see how someone responds and then get a feel for what areas I can or cannot trust that person in. These little "tests" work well for me as I get a sense of the other person. I learn to appreciate people in certain areas where they are totally trustworthy.
Posted by: claudyne | January 17, 2012 at 06:11 PM
I'm intrigued! I want to know more! And I'm a little concerned about where I rate...
Posted by: Lisle | January 17, 2012 at 07:33 PM
I'm interested to know how being more trustworthy is related to trusting others more. But I do know I like myself more when I keep commitments promptly, even if it's just little things like sending a promised email.
Posted by: Teresa | January 17, 2012 at 11:32 PM
Twittered this. I find when we trust, we open ourselves for so many more opportunities!
Posted by: Dana King | January 18, 2012 at 06:58 PM
Congratulations Dana King! You are the winner.
And thank you Teresa, Lisle, Claudyne, Allison, Maria, Bonnie, Richard for sharing your thoughts and comments.
Whenever I get a quick e-mail saying that one of you have commented, it brightens my day!
Posted by: Whitney | January 22, 2012 at 10:24 AM