Fly me to the moon

Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. Garth Brooks

After I wrote about American Idol contestant Melinda Doolittle, my friend Vanessa posed the question: “What about Ashanti Johnson – she wanted to be the American Idol so badly. What happens when you dare to dream, and your dream is dashed?”

Vanessa’s question gave me pause, but now I have an answer.

Let’s take another look at the Hero’s Journey. The Call to Adventure is a crisis of any kind which the hero can choose to run from or face; the overarching purpose of the hero’s journey is to be a different, better person at the conclusion of the experience.

Is it possible that for Ashanti her failure to win on American Idol, the “no,” is her Call to Adventure, a crisis that she now gets to face or run from?

Or is this part of her Road of Trials, a succession of experiences which, if we survive, amplifies our consciousness?

Having had the experience of wanting something and not getting it, if faced well, will it prepare Ashanti for an unexpected, but better-for-her boon?

Let me share.

My senior year in college, I decided that I wanted to be a flight attendant. I distinctly remember sitting in my musicology class sharing with my classmates that the very next day I would be flying to Dallas for an interview. I even remember what I wore – a lime green suit. I was educated, spoke Spanish, interviewed well. I not only didn't get hired, I didn't even get a call back. I was really and truly disappointed. So disappointed. How could things have happened this way? I was sure that this career path was my Call to Adventure.

Nearly twenty years later, there are a million reasons to be grateful for that “no” answer. Whether it was my Call to Adventure, along my Road of Trials or a little of both, in responding to the call and facing the trial, I had to look for other career opportunities. Which eventually led to a career on Wall Street, and the unexpected opportunity to discover more of who I am.

In reading Anna Kerr’s blog about Jennifer Hudson, I wonder if Jennifer Hudson has had similar feelings to mine. She wanted to be the next American Idol, but in a surprise turn of events she placed sixth in 2005. After her “no,” she auditioned for and won an amazing role in the film Dreamgirls, and has been nominated for an Academy Award. Two years later, she's probably ok, even happy, that she didn't win American Idol.

And so while we may sometimes dream of being this or that, of flying to Manhattan or Mongolia, often there are much grander plans afoot, journeys that will ultimately be much better for us – liking flying to the moon.

Can you think of something that you really wanted and didn't get?

More importantly, in what way was your "no" a Call to Adventure or along your Road of Trials?

What was the eventual unexpected boon?

Comments

[Matt Langdon]

After reading the first couple of sentences of your post I was hoping you were going to bring up the Hero's Journey. There aren't many people who know the end point of their journey so not reaching your dream is not the end, by any means. As you say, that failure can be simply a step along the Path of Trials or act as a Call to Adventure.

I had a similar experience to you in applying for jobs recently. I was excited about the prospect of a few jobs - these companies had actually contacted me to ask me to apply. However, I didn't hear back from one, got a phone interview and then no response from another, and then two who decided to go a different route. If I had any of those jobs now I wouldn't be running my own business and getting such satisfaction.

[Whitney Johnson]

Matt -- thank you for sharing this experience. From what I've observed, you are walking the talk when it comes to the hero's journey!

[Vanessa]

Thanks for following up on my question.
When you ask questions at the end of your post, are those just things to think about or would you like people to post answers?

[Whitney Johnson]

Vanessa asked, "are the questions at the end of each post, thought questions, or would I like people to respond?".

Yes and yes.

My hope is that these questions really make each of us think, and as we think and analyze, there will be thoughts we won't want to share in this forum.

I also hope that this blog will come to feel safe enough that women will not only feel comfortable agreeing or disagreeing with me or one another, we will also brainstorm around our dreams, and especially encourage one another as we dare to dream.

As we create an on-line community of sister dreamers, we will experience systergy, and what marvelous things we will accomplish.