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September 05, 2007


I just skimmed through the Pew Research article. It is quite interesting. While it's possible that the fact that an increasing number of at-home mothers think it is "bad for society" to have more working mothers indicates an increasing divide between at-home and working mothers, there are other possibilities. Just because one thinks something on the whole might be bad for society doesn't mean he/she judges a specific person from that trend. For instance, I may feel that having more guns in America is bad for society, but that doesn't mean that I think it is bad for x individual to have a gun. I think the key point here is that regardless of what we might feel on an issue generally, we have to reserve judgment on people's individual choices, to your point, Whitney. I feel like amongst my "mom" friends, which include full-time working, part-time working, and at-home moms, the thing that binds us together is that we're mothers, not the number of hours we work in a week. And I feel very supported for my individual choices, which I appreciate.

Margaret --

Your response is a reminder that it is oh so difficult to step away from our biases when interpreting data. In fact, I suspect that had anyone who knows me well been given a multiple choice question -- which data point from the Pew Study would Whitney have zeroed in on -- they could have readily predicted my bias.

Thank you for underscoring what I had hoped would be the takeaway -- the importance of reserving judgment on individual choices, and the implicit trust and support that we gift to another when we do.

A place in which this kind of support is given is in the salon-style discussion group Fusion that you have co-founded.

If any of you dare to dreamers that live in the Boston area (or will be visiting Boston) would like to come on September 27 -- Margaret will be speaking about micro-credit -- shoot me a quick e-mail, and I'll be sure and get you the specifics.

Best to all,


Thank you so much for you comment about my blog. My blogs have been a heavy weight for me lately and more keep coming my way. I think that I will write about my family and their lives for a few days.

I incidentally was a stay at home mom. It is what I did best. My friends were not. They were much different and their children have prospered from their mother's choices.


Thank you again.

Whitney, thank you for taking the time to think critically and thoughtfully about our conversation. That women are in dialogue about these topics is important note – especially when contrary would imply that women feel that choices are not available to them and that they are unable to question feminine roles and responsibilities.

I think that is the beauty of this that I perceive that I have freedom. I have freedom to not only make choices but to discuss the pros and cons of the choices available to women with other women in a safe and supportive environment. In reflecting on this, is that choice and dialogue possible in the broader population? I think if I were truly honest with myself I would state that choice and dialogue are gifts given to those who are educated and with means. What about those without?

Food for thought...

Stacey -

I am so glad that you brought this up. You are absolutely right -- deciding how to allocate our time is such a LUXURY -- one which very few women globally have.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we reallocate whatever time we spend fingerpointing to helping women throughout the world are barely eking out a living.

Thanks for the reminder.


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About this blog

  • When I took a sabbatical from Wall Street to pursue a different dream and help others live theirs, I learned that women in the U.S. may be placated, even pampered, but because we aren't dreaming, we are also desperate and depressed. Drawing on a variety of sources, ranging from academic studies to pop culture, dare to dream encourages us to dream. And then to act on our dreams.


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