dare to dream

What I learned about seeing from my glasses

I recently bought glasses.

Having never needed nor worn glasses, this was a big deal.

But my choice to get my eyes checked, and buy glasses on my birthday, left me wondering.

It's good to again read fine print, but of all the things that I could do on my birthday, why would my focus shift to eyeglasses?

Surely there was a bigger picture.

In buying glasses, was I acknowledging that even as my physical eyes deteriorate, I am seeing myself -- my who I am, my competence -- better than ever?

Further, are my glasses a tangible reminder of how important it is to me to mentor, to be a see-er of the magnificence in others, until they can see the magnificence in themselves?

And the answers to these rhetorical questions are --

Yes and yes.

I couldn't have given myself a better present.

What do you see more clearly today than you did last year, five years, ten years ago?

Who can you be a see-er for while she/he learns to see for themselves?

Why we are skeptical of Hillary Clinton

When I read Katharine Seelye's NY Times article titled, Women Supportive of Clinton, But Skeptical, I found myself wondering....

Why?

Why do so many want to want to vote for Hillary Clinton, but won't?

Is it a question of competence?

Most would agree she's quite capable. So -- No.

Is it because we don't agree with her politics?

Within a few seconds, I rattled off the names of several women for whom I would vote despite our differing political views. So again -- No.

If it's neither a question of competence, nor of political views, then why are we skeptical?

1) We don't identify with Senator Clinton's hero's journey -- As with Katie Couric, there's an archetypal mismatch, though for an entirely different reason.

While we don't doubt that Senator Clinton can successfully take on Psyche's four overwhelmingly difficult tasks, it feels like she's taking on the adventure for herself, not for us. That she's ready and willing to do some genuine head-butting, rather than to wait and pick up the fleece off the fence once the rams have gone home. In other words, she seems to want power, not for us, but for her. That's not the female hero's journey that resonates with us, so we can't quite get comfortable.

Ok, she's not perfect, but isn't there a double standard here?

Absolutely.

Most of us feel quite comfortable if men are ambitious and even a little bit 'naughty' -- after all, 'boys will be boys' (remember Arnold Schwarzenegger smoking his cigar in the tent near his office), but with women....

2) We want a fairy godmother -- The Princess Diaries, provides a great look at this archetype. The film stars Julie Andrews as Queen Clarisse (for anyone over the age of 40, she is the practically perfect fairy godmother Mary Poppins) preparing her granddaughter Princess Mia, played by Anne Hathaway, to ascend to the throne of the imaginary kingdom Genovia.

Princess Mia is qualified to be a princess because she's "bright, sensitive and caring," says Queen Clarisse. (Imagine Senator Clinton, let alone the male presidential candidates, described as such!) Further reinforcing the fairy godmother archetype, Queen Clarisse sings to Princess Mia:

When they tell your story,
They'll call your heart of gold your crowning glory,
The most glorious part of you

In other words, inscribed in our minds and in our hearts, is the view that a woman who leads us must be smart and capable, and most especially good and kind.

That her hero's journey, no matter how difficult, is ultimately undertaken on our behalf.

And that whether Princess Mia, Mary Poppins, or Psyche -- she'll be our fairy godmother.

If you are comfortable with Hillary Clinton, what are your thoughts on archetypes? Is there one that fits?

There was an interesting article in the Australian papers not too long ago titled When one man's ambition is another woman's evil curse, comparing and contrasting how people respond to ambition in women versus men.

Given how beloved Bill Clinton is, and what I understand to be an uncanny ability to make people feel that it is all about them, could he be the key to her winning?

What are your thoughts on other presidential candidates? Which archetypes are working for or against them?

P.S. Maureen Dowd of the New York Times published an Op-Ed piece (Oct 31 2007) titled Hilary La Francaise, Cherchez la Femme? which certainly underscores the comments (see below) made by Margaret Busse and Elizabeth Harmer-Dionne. Also interesting to read Ms. Dowd's comment, "Maybe the qualities that many find off-putting in Hillary — her opportunism, her triangulation, her ethical corner-cutting, her shifting convictions from pro-war to anti-war, her secrecy, her ruthlessness — are the same ones that make people willing to vote for a woman." May this not be true.

Thanks to an introduction from Matt Langdon's The Hero Workshop, in early August I met with Brett Farmiloe and Zach Hubbell from Pursue the Passion. Both recent college grads, Brett and Zach have been on the road for 100+ days interviewing people who are passionate about their careers.

In embarking on their very own hero's journey, Brett et al were intrigued by the following two data points: Half the American workforce is not satisfied with their job, and only one-fifth apply passion toward their career.

When Brett interviewed me, he did what any good interviewer does; he asked good questions, and seemed genuinely interested in my story. If you'd like to read the blurb, and take a peek at the video clip, here it is. Then I'd be interested in your thoughts on the following:

Did you notice how the hero's journey of a man, differs from that of a woman?

If you were to be interviewed for 10 minutes about your story, what would you say?

Isn't it interesting that even in the U.S., there is still so much discontent? We may be placated, even pampered, but if we're not dreaming....

For any of you that read Of Corvettes and Porsches, you'll find the juxtaposition of that entry with this interview odd. My hope is that you'll take courage in my self-contradiction, that even as I am daring you to dream, and most of the time I do a pretty good job of walking my talk, I have my moments.

P.S. Off camera, I was able to ask Brett and Zach about their dreams. Their moxie is impressive: a dream, and a few dollars, and they were off.

Several weeks ago, my friend Lorna shared with me that while still in her early 20's, she bought her dream car, a red Corvette.

Her dad helped her finance the purchase, but I was surprised nonetheless.

Though I've "wanted" a Porsche Carrera for over 20 years, I've never really been serious about buying one. I've never even test-driven one, unless you count the time I drove around the block of the car dealership several times before losing my nerve.

You may be thinking, of course you didn't buy it -- Porsches are a luxury car and they aren't exactly kid-friendly.

But, you know what?

There were several years of Wall Street bonuses, and no children until my mid-30s.

And I didn't buy one.

I wonder why.

Lorna offhandedly said something which I think is quite important.

"I looked really good then."

There are many possible takeaways from her comment, and by the way, she continues to look fabulous, actually more fabulous now, because of who she is.

But my key takeaway was this.

Lorna bought a Corvette.

Because Lorna believed she deserved to own a Corvette.

Because Lorna (as did her father) believed she was Rachel.

For some, not all, no matter how successful we become, we occasionally have to remind ourselves that Leah needs to take a backseat.

When I buy my next car, will I buy a Porsche?

I don't yet know, but if Rachel has her way, I will.

Can you think of something that you really, really wanted to do, try or buy, and you did? How did you feel?

Is there something you want to do today that you haven't done? Why?

According to the Bem Sex-Role Inventory, a woman is considered feminine only when she is providing resources (time, money, praise) to someone else. How does this societal belief influence your decisions?

To what extent are we gatekeepers for our children's dreams? What would we need to do to fling open the gate?

In late August, lovely Barbara Torris responded to my question -- "Who are your heros?".

Imagine her surprise when, last week, one of her heros, Russell Kirsch, the man who invented the square pixel in cameras, and taught computers how to "see", called to thank Barbara for her blog.

There was something quite wonderful about their interchange, but I can't quite figure out what -- will you think with me for a moment?

When Barbara wrote about Russell Kirsch, wasn't she giving a gift of her self?

Is there someone that you admire -- that is very much your hero -- to whom you can say thank you?

Whether the person responds or not, in our expression of thanks, we not only clarify what we value, our gratitude reminds us that we are not the center of everything, but a part; that we are connected. (Note: though Peggy Noonan didn't respond to my 'fan mail' two years ago, in setting forth what I admired about her, I clarified how I aspire to be.)

When Russell Kirsch responded to Barbara Torris, wasn't he receiving her gift?

Who admires you? Someone you know well, not at all, younger (probably), the children in your life? Anything you can do to receive this gift freely given?

Gift given, gift received.

Yes, yes, but it feels like there is something more....

In the Identifying my heros entry, I posed the question, "given that my childhood heros (Samantha Stevens, UCLA cheerleaders) have shaped who I've become, is it possible that my current heros (e.g. Peggy Noonan, Laura Laviada) can shape who I will yet become?"

If this is indeed true, then isn't it also true that when Russell Kirsch responded to Barbara Torris, he increased the odds that she will become what she aspires to be?

And finally, when we respond to someone who admires us -- aren't we actually saying that we see something magnificent in her that she can’t yet see, and that we are here, in this moment, to be her see-er until she can be her own?

I'm not a betting woman, but I sure do like these odds.

Whose hero are you?

Will you mentor her for a moment?

Some months ago in A Space for Women's Voices I wrote, "I may be only one storyteller, and this blog may not reach many, but for those it does reach, my hope is that Dare to Dream will be a place where women can come to hear empowering stories from and about other women, and are encouraged to start telling stories, our own stories, in which we claim a central place."

Lily Liang, my first guest blogger, is one of these storytellers. And, as a woman who majored in Operations Research (read: technology and computers) at Cornell, Lily is uniquely qualified to do the "woman thing" as called for by Tom Peters.

When my friend Paulina introduced me to Lily I was so engaged by her story, that I immediately asked if she would guest blog.

She has kindly consented; may you enjoy learning from her as much as I have.

I remember being genuinely surprised when I first read Whitney's iPhone inDifference posting and saw the picture that showed hardly any women waiting in line for the iPhone.

At the time, I was living in San Francisco interning with a dot com and spending most of my time outside of work socializing with other MBA interns who worked at start-ups and high tech companies, including Google and Apple.

I was surrounded by the iPhone craze. In fact, I even accepted an invitation to join a Facebook group that a classmate started called “I had to buy an iPhone because my calculator broke.”

However, I didn’t wait in line to buy an iPhone. Nor have I bought one since.

That's not because I don't like technology, I use technology every day.

I have a profile on Facebook, Friendster, LinkedIn, and MySpace.

I watch videos of missed So You Think You Can Dance episodes on YouTube.

I chat with friends and family via AIM, MSN Messenger, Yahoo! Messenger, and Google Talk.

I use Skype to speak with my parents who live in China.

I have a Blackberry as my phone.

And, in my professional life, technology is not only a medium of communication, it is a language in itself. During my career in IT/management consulting, I have had to put my business hat on to ensure a new project is conceptually sound, but it's been my technical background that has allowed me to ensure a project is operationally feasible.

And because I help to translate business needs into technical requirements – and vice versa – I'm able to make things happen.

I’m not the most well-versed in technology, particularly new ones, but I like to learn about them from those who are more technically-savvy. And I know enough, that I can use it to push a project forward.

So, why haven’t I purchased an iPhone?

Probably the same reason why I haven’t bought a flat panel TV or some fancy video game console like the Nintendo Wii (though, I experienced the Guitar Hero game this summer and it is simply awesome): I haven’t rationalized enough of a need to buy them at their current price points.

Trust me – I can convince myself of any new purchase, but being the guinea pig for a fancy gadget before knowing if it works well or how it truly differs than my blackberry has little appeal to me.

Which brings me back to why Whitney's iPhone inDifference gave me pause, and what I've concluded:

Women primarily adopt new technologies for function while men often adopt them to satisfy their egos. When I whip my blackberry out, I feel a little silly, but I find it incredibly useful to have email at my fingertips. For a man, the iPhone may offer neat features that help to organize his life better, but it also signifies a particular lifestyle and status that he wants to express to those around him. Do you know any man who keeps his new gadgets a secret?

Over the next decade, many technological advances will be introduced that will change the way we live our lives. Some will even assert that their advances will allow us to live better. We’ll be ordering groceries and getting same-day delivery to our homes with a touch of our cell phones. Robotics will become more commonplace in the household, evolving from current robotic technologies such as iRobot’s Roomba.

However, technology is most meaningful if it somehow improves our everyday lives.

For example, if my mother hadn’t been open to learning email, MSN Messenger and making phone calls over Skype after moving to China with my father (with my sisters and I still living in the states), it would have made it even more difficult having my parents live so far away.

So, if you want to "improve your everyday life" and/or be part of the "woman thing", but your technology IQ is holding you back, here's what I'd suggest:

1) Be open to technological advances.

2) Experiment with new technologies that people around you are using - maybe you don't need it now, but you may discover a use for the technology later.

Oh, and don’t be fooled by the lack of women waiting in line for the next new gadget, thinking that it means that women are behind the technological curve. It’s all about letting the first movers (primarily men) pay the premium for the new product, discover all of the bugs in the initial release, and then waiting for the next installment of the technology that is not only cheaper, but oftentimes better because the bugs have been fixed (See Week in Review: Apple My Ire).

Smart.

What are your thoughts on Lily's blog?

Is there a generational component?

Do you agree with my premise that women's innate collaborational expertise needs to be married with technical chops in order for Tome Peters' "woman thing" to happen?

What could you make happen if you were to learn more about technology? In your personal or professional life?

Did you notice how the myth of Psyche is relevant even with things technical?

If you liked what Lily had to say -- and think it's terrific that she took the time to share her voice with us -- do give her an ATTA GIRL in the comments below.

And did you see what she does in her leisure time? Now that sounds fun!

Finally, if you feel that you have something to say, a story to tell, let me know!

About Lily Liang
Upon receiving a B.S. in Operations Research from Cornell University in 2001, Lily Liang moved to New York City to test out her process skills as a consultant with Accenture. She primarily worked as an interactive voice response (IVR) system functional designer for large telecommunication companies. Realizing that her true interests lie in working with products rather than in the services industry, Lily then took a job with the College Board with their Product Development group. She devoted her three years there with the SAT Program, helping them to introduce the new SAT with Writing as well as other new SAT initiatives. Her career at the College Board not only satisfied her need to work with meaningful products but inspired a new person interest in educational reform.

Lily is currently pursuing her MBA at Harvard Business School (HBS). She has enjoyed learning the different functional areas with which general managers interact, and continues to have an interest in working with meaningful products that have an impact on everyday lives. She recently completed a summer internship with Walmart.com where she developed a strategy to support their multi-channel shoppers.

Outside of the classroom, Lily is the Co-President of the HBS Dance Club as well as an Afro-Brazilian / Samba teacher and choreographer.

Telling my story to Pursue the Passion

Thanks to an introduction from Matt Langdon's The Hero Workshop, in early August I met with Brett Farmiloe and Zach Hubbell from Pursue the Passion. Both recent college grads, Brett and Zach have been on the road for 100+ days interviewing people who are passionate about their careers.

In embarking on their very own hero's journey, Brett et al were intrigued by the following two data points: Half the American workforce is not satisfied with their job, and only one-fifth apply passion toward their career.

When Brett interviewed me, he did what any good interviewer does; he asked good questions, and seemed genuinely interested in my story. If you'd like to read the blurb, and take a peek at the video clip, here it is. Then I'd be interested in your thoughts on the following:

Did you notice how the hero's journey of a man, differs from that of a woman?

If you were to be interviewed for 10 minutes about your story, what would you say?

Isn't it interesting that even in the U.S., there is still so much discontent? We may be placated, even pampered, but if we're not dreaming....

For any of you that read Of Corvettes and Porsches, you'll find the juxtaposition of that entry with this interview odd. My hope is that you'll take courage in my self-contradiction, that even as I am daring you to dream, and most of the time I do a pretty good job of walking my talk, I have my moments.

P.S. Off camera, I was able to ask Brett and Zach about their dreams. Their moxie is impressive: a dream, and a few dollars, and they were off.

Several weeks ago, my friend Lorna shared with me that while still in her early 20's, she bought her dream car, a red Corvette.

Her dad helped her finance the purchase, but I was surprised nonetheless.

Though I've "wanted" a Porsche Carrera for over 20 years, I've never really been serious about buying one. I've never even test-driven one, unless you count the time I drove around the block of the car dealership several times before losing my nerve.

You may be thinking, of course you didn't buy it -- Porsches are a luxury car and they aren't exactly kid-friendly.

But, you know what?

There were several years of Wall Street bonuses, and no children until my mid-30s.

And I didn't buy one.

I wonder why.

Lorna offhandedly said something which I think is quite important.

"I looked really good then."

There are many possible takeaways from her comment, and by the way, she continues to look fabulous, actually more fabulous now, because of who she is.

But my key takeaway was this.

Lorna bought a Corvette.

Because Lorna believed she deserved to own a Corvette.

Because Lorna (as did her father) believed she was Rachel.

For some, not all, no matter how successful we become, we occasionally have to remind ourselves that Leah needs to take a backseat.

When I buy my next car, will I buy a Porsche?

I don't yet know, but if Rachel has her way, I will.

Can you think of something that you really, really wanted to do, try or buy, and you did? How did you feel?

Is there something you want to do today that you haven't done? Why?

According to the Bem Sex-Role Inventory, a woman is considered feminine only when she is providing resources (time, money, praise) to someone else. How does this societal belief influence your decisions?

To what extent are we gatekeepers for our children's dreams? What would we need to do to fling open the gate?

In late August, lovely Barbara Torris responded to my question -- "Who are your heros?".

Imagine her surprise when, last week, one of her heros, Russell Kirsch, the man who invented the square pixel in cameras, and taught computers how to "see", called to thank Barbara for her blog.

There was something quite wonderful about their interchange, but I can't quite figure out what -- will you think with me for a moment?

When Barbara wrote about Russell Kirsch, wasn't she giving a gift of her self?

Is there someone that you admire -- that is very much your hero -- to whom you can say thank you?

Whether the person responds or not, in our expression of thanks, we not only clarify what we value, our gratitude reminds us that we are not the center of everything, but a part; that we are connected. (Note: though Peggy Noonan didn't respond to my 'fan mail' two years ago, in setting forth what I admired about her, I clarified how I aspire to be.)

When Russell Kirsch responded to Barbara Torris, wasn't he receiving her gift?

Who admires you? Someone you know well, not at all, younger (probably), the children in your life? Anything you can do to receive this gift freely given?

Gift given, gift received.

Yes, yes, but it feels like there is something more....

In the Identifying my heros entry, I posed the question, "given that my childhood heros (Samantha Stevens, UCLA cheerleaders) have shaped who I've become, is it possible that my current heros (e.g. Peggy Noonan, Laura Laviada) can shape who I will yet become?"

If this is indeed true, then isn't it also true that when Russell Kirsch responded to Barbara Torris, he increased the odds that she will become what she aspires to be?

And finally, when we respond to someone who admires us -- aren't we actually saying that we see something magnificent in her that she can’t yet see, and that we are here, in this moment, to be her see-er until she can be her own?

I'm not a betting woman, but I sure do like these odds.

Whose hero are you?

Will you mentor her for a moment?

Some months ago in A Space for Women's Voices I wrote, "I may be only one storyteller, and this blog may not reach many, but for those it does reach, my hope is that Dare to Dream will be a place where women can come to hear empowering stories from and about other women, and are encouraged to start telling stories, our own stories, in which we claim a central place."

Lily Liang, my first guest blogger, is one of these storytellers. And, as a woman who majored in Operations Research (read: technology and computers) at Cornell, Lily is uniquely qualified to do the "woman thing" as called for by Tom Peters.

When my friend Paulina introduced me to Lily I was so engaged by her story, that I immediately asked if she would guest blog.

She has kindly consented; may you enjoy learning from her as much as I have.

I remember being genuinely surprised when I first read Whitney's iPhone inDifference posting and saw the picture that showed hardly any women waiting in line for the iPhone.

At the time, I was living in San Francisco interning with a dot com and spending most of my time outside of work socializing with other MBA interns who worked at start-ups and high tech companies, including Google and Apple.

I was surrounded by the iPhone craze. In fact, I even accepted an invitation to join a Facebook group that a classmate started called “I had to buy an iPhone because my calculator broke.”

However, I didn’t wait in line to buy an iPhone. Nor have I bought one since.

That's not because I don't like technology, I use technology every day.

I have a profile on Facebook, Friendster, LinkedIn, and MySpace.

I watch videos of missed So You Think You Can Dance episodes on YouTube.

I chat with friends and family via AIM, MSN Messenger, Yahoo! Messenger, and Google Talk.

I use Skype to speak with my parents who live in China.

I have a Blackberry as my phone.

And, in my professional life, technology is not only a medium of communication, it is a language in itself. During my career in IT/management consulting, I have had to put my business hat on to ensure a new project is conceptually sound, but it's been my technical background that has allowed me to ensure a project is operationally feasible.

And because I help to translate business needs into technical requirements – and vice versa – I'm able to make things happen.

I’m not the most well-versed in technology, particularly new ones, but I like to learn about them from those who are more technically-savvy. And I know enough, that I can use it to push a project forward.

So, why haven’t I purchased an iPhone?

Probably the same reason why I haven’t bought a flat panel TV or some fancy video game console like the Nintendo Wii (though, I experienced the Guitar Hero game this summer and it is simply awesome): I haven’t rationalized enough of a need to buy them at their current price points.

Trust me – I can convince myself of any new purchase, but being the guinea pig for a fancy gadget before knowing if it works well or how it truly differs than my blackberry has little appeal to me.

Which brings me back to why Whitney's iPhone inDifference gave me pause, and what I've concluded:

Women primarily adopt new technologies for function while men often adopt them to satisfy their egos. When I whip my blackberry out, I feel a little silly, but I find it incredibly useful to have email at my fingertips. For a man, the iPhone may offer neat features that help to organize his life better, but it also signifies a particular lifestyle and status that he wants to express to those around him. Do you know any man who keeps his new gadgets a secret?

Over the next decade, many technological advances will be introduced that will change the way we live our lives. Some will even assert that their advances will allow us to live better. We’ll be ordering groceries and getting same-day delivery to our homes with a touch of our cell phones. Robotics will become more commonplace in the household, evolving from current robotic technologies such as iRobot’s Roomba.

However, technology is most meaningful if it somehow improves our everyday lives.

For example, if my mother hadn’t been open to learning email, MSN Messenger and making phone calls over Skype after moving to China with my father (with my sisters and I still living in the states), it would have made it even more difficult having my parents live so far away.

So, if you want to "improve your everyday life" and/or be part of the "woman thing", but your technology IQ is holding you back, here's what I'd suggest:

1) Be open to technological advances.

2) Experiment with new technologies that people around you are using - maybe you don't need it now, but you may discover a use for the technology later.

Oh, and don’t be fooled by the lack of women waiting in line for the next new gadget, thinking that it means that women are behind the technological curve. It’s all about letting the first movers (primarily men) pay the premium for the new product, discover all of the bugs in the initial release, and then waiting for the next installment of the technology that is not only cheaper, but oftentimes better because the bugs have been fixed (See Week in Review: Apple My Ire).

Smart.

What are your thoughts on Lily's blog?

Is there a generational component?

Do you agree with my premise that women's innate collaborational expertise needs to be married with technical chops in order for Tome Peters' "woman thing" to happen?

What could you make happen if you were to learn more about technology? In your personal or professional life?

Did you notice how the myth of Psyche is relevant even with things technical?

If you liked what Lily had to say -- and think it's terrific that she took the time to share her voice with us -- do give her an ATTA GIRL in the comments below.

And did you see what she does in her leisure time? Now that sounds fun!

Finally, if you feel that you have something to say, a story to tell, let me know!

About Lily Liang
Upon receiving a B.S. in Operations Research from Cornell University in 2001, Lily Liang moved to New York City to test out her process skills as a consultant with Accenture. She primarily worked as an interactive voice response (IVR) system functional designer for large telecommunication companies. Realizing that her true interests lie in working with products rather than in the services industry, Lily then took a job with the College Board with their Product Development group. She devoted her three years there with the SAT Program, helping them to introduce the new SAT with Writing as well as other new SAT initiatives. Her career at the College Board not only satisfied her need to work with meaningful products but inspired a new person interest in educational reform.

Lily is currently pursuing her MBA at Harvard Business School (HBS). She has enjoyed learning the different functional areas with which general managers interact, and continues to have an interest in working with meaningful products that have an impact on everyday lives. She recently completed a summer internship with Walmart.com where she developed a strategy to support their multi-channel shoppers.

Outside of the classroom, Lily is the Co-President of the HBS Dance Club as well as an Afro-Brazilian / Samba teacher and choreographer.

Of Corvettes and Porsches

Several weeks ago, my friend Lorna shared with me that while still in her early 20's, she bought her dream car, a red Corvette.

Her dad helped her finance the purchase, but I was surprised nonetheless.

Though I've "wanted" a Porsche Carrera for over 20 years, I've never really been serious about buying one. I've never even test-driven one, unless you count the time I drove around the block of the car dealership several times before losing my nerve.

You may be thinking, of course you didn't buy it -- Porsches are a luxury car and they aren't exactly kid-friendly.

But, you know what?

There were several years of Wall Street bonuses, and no children until my mid-30s.

And I didn't buy one.

I wonder why.

Lorna offhandedly said something which I think is quite important.

"I looked really good then."

There are many possible takeaways from her comment, and by the way, she continues to look fabulous, actually more fabulous now, because of who she is.

But my key takeaway was this.

Lorna bought a Corvette.

Because Lorna believed she deserved to own a Corvette.

Because Lorna (as did her father) believed she was Rachel.

For some, not all, no matter how successful we become, we occasionally have to remind ourselves that Leah needs to take a backseat.

When I buy my next car, will I buy a Porsche?

I don't yet know, but if Rachel has her way, I will.

Can you think of something that you really, really wanted to do, try or buy, and you did? How did you feel?

Is there something you want to do today that you haven't done? Why?

According to the Bem Sex-Role Inventory, a woman is considered feminine only when she is providing resources (time, money, praise) to someone else. How does this societal belief influence your decisions?

To what extent are we gatekeepers for our children's dreams? What would we need to do to fling open the gate?

In late August, lovely Barbara Torris responded to my question -- "Who are your heros?".

Imagine her surprise when, last week, one of her heros, Russell Kirsch, the man who invented the square pixel in cameras, and taught computers how to "see", called to thank Barbara for her blog.

There was something quite wonderful about their interchange, but I can't quite figure out what -- will you think with me for a moment?

When Barbara wrote about Russell Kirsch, wasn't she giving a gift of her self?

Is there someone that you admire -- that is very much your hero -- to whom you can say thank you?

Whether the person responds or not, in our expression of thanks, we not only clarify what we value, our gratitude reminds us that we are not the center of everything, but a part; that we are connected. (Note: though Peggy Noonan didn't respond to my 'fan mail' two years ago, in setting forth what I admired about her, I clarified how I aspire to be.)

When Russell Kirsch responded to Barbara Torris, wasn't he receiving her gift?

Who admires you? Someone you know well, not at all, younger (probably), the children in your life? Anything you can do to receive this gift freely given?

Gift given, gift received.

Yes, yes, but it feels like there is something more....

In the Identifying my heros entry, I posed the question, "given that my childhood heros (Samantha Stevens, UCLA cheerleaders) have shaped who I've become, is it possible that my current heros (e.g. Peggy Noonan, Laura Laviada) can shape who I will yet become?"

If this is indeed true, then isn't it also true that when Russell Kirsch responded to Barbara Torris, he increased the odds that she will become what she aspires to be?

And finally, when we respond to someone who admires us -- aren't we actually saying that we see something magnificent in her that she can’t yet see, and that we are here, in this moment, to be her see-er until she can be her own?

I'm not a betting woman, but I sure do like these odds.

Whose hero are you?

Will you mentor her for a moment?

Some months ago in A Space for Women's Voices I wrote, "I may be only one storyteller, and this blog may not reach many, but for those it does reach, my hope is that Dare to Dream will be a place where women can come to hear empowering stories from and about other women, and are encouraged to start telling stories, our own stories, in which we claim a central place."

Lily Liang, my first guest blogger, is one of these storytellers. And, as a woman who majored in Operations Research (read: technology and computers) at Cornell, Lily is uniquely qualified to do the "woman thing" as called for by Tom Peters.

When my friend Paulina introduced me to Lily I was so engaged by her story, that I immediately asked if she would guest blog.

She has kindly consented; may you enjoy learning from her as much as I have.

I remember being genuinely surprised when I first read Whitney's iPhone inDifference posting and saw the picture that showed hardly any women waiting in line for the iPhone.

At the time, I was living in San Francisco interning with a dot com and spending most of my time outside of work socializing with other MBA interns who worked at start-ups and high tech companies, including Google and Apple.

I was surrounded by the iPhone craze. In fact, I even accepted an invitation to join a Facebook group that a classmate started called “I had to buy an iPhone because my calculator broke.”

However, I didn’t wait in line to buy an iPhone. Nor have I bought one since.

That's not because I don't like technology, I use technology every day.

I have a profile on Facebook, Friendster, LinkedIn, and MySpace.

I watch videos of missed So You Think You Can Dance episodes on YouTube.

I chat with friends and family via AIM, MSN Messenger, Yahoo! Messenger, and Google Talk.

I use Skype to speak with my parents who live in China.

I have a Blackberry as my phone.

And, in my professional life, technology is not only a medium of communication, it is a language in itself. During my career in IT/management consulting, I have had to put my business hat on to ensure a new project is conceptually sound, but it's been my technical background that has allowed me to ensure a project is operationally feasible.

And because I help to translate business needs into technical requirements – and vice versa – I'm able to make things happen.

I’m not the most well-versed in technology, particularly new ones, but I like to learn about them from those who are more technically-savvy. And I know enough, that I can use it to push a project forward.

So, why haven’t I purchased an iPhone?

Probably the same reason why I haven’t bought a flat panel TV or some fancy video game console like the Nintendo Wii (though, I experienced the Guitar Hero game this summer and it is simply awesome): I haven’t rationalized enough of a need to buy them at their current price points.

Trust me – I can convince myself of any new purchase, but being the guinea pig for a fancy gadget before knowing if it works well or how it truly differs than my blackberry has little appeal to me.

Which brings me back to why Whitney's iPhone inDifference gave me pause, and what I've concluded:

Women primarily adopt new technologies for function while men often adopt them to satisfy their egos. When I whip my blackberry out, I feel a little silly, but I find it incredibly useful to have email at my fingertips. For a man, the iPhone may offer neat features that help to organize his life better, but it also signifies a particular lifestyle and status that he wants to express to those around him. Do you know any man who keeps his new gadgets a secret?

Over the next decade, many technological advances will be introduced that will change the way we live our lives. Some will even assert that their advances will allow us to live better. We’ll be ordering groceries and getting same-day delivery to our homes with a touch of our cell phones. Robotics will become more commonplace in the household, evolving from current robotic technologies such as iRobot’s Roomba.

However, technology is most meaningful if it somehow improves our everyday lives.

For example, if my mother hadn’t been open to learning email, MSN Messenger and making phone calls over Skype after moving to China with my father (with my sisters and I still living in the states), it would have made it even more difficult having my parents live so far away.

So, if you want to "improve your everyday life" and/or be part of the "woman thing", but your technology IQ is holding you back, here's what I'd suggest:

1) Be open to technological advances.

2) Experiment with new technologies that people around you are using - maybe you don't need it now, but you may discover a use for the technology later.

Oh, and don’t be fooled by the lack of women waiting in line for the next new gadget, thinking that it means that women are behind the technological curve. It’s all about letting the first movers (primarily men) pay the premium for the new product, discover all of the bugs in the initial release, and then waiting for the next installment of the technology that is not only cheaper, but oftentimes better because the bugs have been fixed (See Week in Review: Apple My Ire).

Smart.

What are your thoughts on Lily's blog?

Is there a generational component?

Do you agree with my premise that women's innate collaborational expertise needs to be married with technical chops in order for Tome Peters' "woman thing" to happen?

What could you make happen if you were to learn more about technology? In your personal or professional life?

Did you notice how the myth of Psyche is relevant even with things technical?

If you liked what Lily had to say -- and think it's terrific that she took the time to share her voice with us -- do give her an ATTA GIRL in the comments below.

And did you see what she does in her leisure time? Now that sounds fun!

Finally, if you feel that you have something to say, a story to tell, let me know!

About Lily Liang
Upon receiving a B.S. in Operations Research from Cornell University in 2001, Lily Liang moved to New York City to test out her process skills as a consultant with Accenture. She primarily worked as an interactive voice response (IVR) system functional designer for large telecommunication companies. Realizing that her true interests lie in working with products rather than in the services industry, Lily then took a job with the College Board with their Product Development group. She devoted her three years there with the SAT Program, helping them to introduce the new SAT with Writing as well as other new SAT initiatives. Her career at the College Board not only satisfied her need to work with meaningful products but inspired a new person interest in educational reform.

Lily is currently pursuing her MBA at Harvard Business School (HBS). She has enjoyed learning the different functional areas with which general managers interact, and continues to have an interest in working with meaningful products that have an impact on everyday lives. She recently completed a summer internship with Walmart.com where she developed a strategy to support their multi-channel shoppers.

Outside of the classroom, Lily is the Co-President of the HBS Dance Club as well as an Afro-Brazilian / Samba teacher and choreographer.

Mentoring for a moment

In late August, lovely Barbara Torris responded to my question -- "Who are your heros?".

Imagine her surprise when, last week, one of her heros, Russell Kirsch, the man who invented the square pixel in cameras, and taught computers how to "see", called to thank Barbara for her blog.

There was something quite wonderful about their interchange, but I can't quite figure out what -- will you think with me for a moment?

When Barbara wrote about Russell Kirsch, wasn't she giving a gift of her self?

Is there someone that you admire -- that is very much your hero -- to whom you can say thank you?

Whether the person responds or not, in our expression of thanks, we not only clarify what we value, our gratitude reminds us that we are not the center of everything, but a part; that we are connected. (Note: though Peggy Noonan didn't respond to my 'fan mail' two years ago, in setting forth what I admired about her, I clarified how I aspire to be.)

When Russell Kirsch responded to Barbara Torris, wasn't he receiving her gift?

Who admires you? Someone you know well, not at all, younger (probably), the children in your life? Anything you can do to receive this gift freely given?

Gift given, gift received.

Yes, yes, but it feels like there is something more....

In the Identifying my heros entry, I posed the question, "given that my childhood heros (Samantha Stevens, UCLA cheerleaders) have shaped who I've become, is it possible that my current heros (e.g. Peggy Noonan, Laura Laviada) can shape who I will yet become?"

If this is indeed true, then isn't it also true that when Russell Kirsch responded to Barbara Torris, he increased the odds that she will become what she aspires to be?

And finally, when we respond to someone who admires us -- aren't we actually saying that we see something magnificent in her that she can’t yet see, and that we are here, in this moment, to be her see-er until she can be her own?

I'm not a betting woman, but I sure do like these odds.

Whose hero are you?

Will you mentor her for a moment?

Some months ago in A Space for Women's Voices I wrote, "I may be only one storyteller, and this blog may not reach many, but for those it does reach, my hope is that Dare to Dream will be a place where women can come to hear empowering stories from and about other women, and are encouraged to start telling stories, our own stories, in which we claim a central place."

Lily Liang, my first guest blogger, is one of these storytellers. And, as a woman who majored in Operations Research (read: technology and computers) at Cornell, Lily is uniquely qualified to do the "woman thing" as called for by Tom Peters.

When my friend Paulina introduced me to Lily I was so engaged by her story, that I immediately asked if she would guest blog.

She has kindly consented; may you enjoy learning from her as much as I have.

I remember being genuinely surprised when I first read Whitney's iPhone inDifference posting and saw the picture that showed hardly any women waiting in line for the iPhone.

At the time, I was living in San Francisco interning with a dot com and spending most of my time outside of work socializing with other MBA interns who worked at start-ups and high tech companies, including Google and Apple.

I was surrounded by the iPhone craze. In fact, I even accepted an invitation to join a Facebook group that a classmate started called “I had to buy an iPhone because my calculator broke.”

However, I didn’t wait in line to buy an iPhone. Nor have I bought one since.

That's not because I don't like technology, I use technology every day.

I have a profile on Facebook, Friendster, LinkedIn, and MySpace.

I watch videos of missed So You Think You Can Dance episodes on YouTube.

I chat with friends and family via AIM, MSN Messenger, Yahoo! Messenger, and Google Talk.

I use Skype to speak with my parents who live in China.

I have a Blackberry as my phone.

And, in my professional life, technology is not only a medium of communication, it is a language in itself. During my career in IT/management consulting, I have had to put my business hat on to ensure a new project is conceptually sound, but it's been my technical background that has allowed me to ensure a project is operationally feasible.

And because I help to translate business needs into technical requirements – and vice versa – I'm able to make things happen.

I’m not the most well-versed in technology, particularly new ones, but I like to learn about them from those who are more technically-savvy. And I know enough, that I can use it to push a project forward.

So, why haven’t I purchased an iPhone?

Probably the same reason why I haven’t bought a flat panel TV or some fancy video game console like the Nintendo Wii (though, I experienced the Guitar Hero game this summer and it is simply awesome): I haven’t rationalized enough of a need to buy them at their current price points.

Trust me – I can convince myself of any new purchase, but being the guinea pig for a fancy gadget before knowing if it works well or how it truly differs than my blackberry has little appeal to me.

Which brings me back to why Whitney's iPhone inDifference gave me pause, and what I've concluded:

Women primarily adopt new technologies for function while men often adopt them to satisfy their egos. When I whip my blackberry out, I feel a little silly, but I find it incredibly useful to have email at my fingertips. For a man, the iPhone may offer neat features that help to organize his life better, but it also signifies a particular lifestyle and status that he wants to express to those around him. Do you know any man who keeps his new gadgets a secret?

Over the next decade, many technological advances will be introduced that will change the way we live our lives. Some will even assert that their advances will allow us to live better. We’ll be ordering groceries and getting same-day delivery to our homes with a touch of our cell phones. Robotics will become more commonplace in the household, evolving from current robotic technologies such as iRobot’s Roomba.

However, technology is most meaningful if it somehow improves our everyday lives.

For example, if my mother hadn’t been open to learning email, MSN Messenger and making phone calls over Skype after moving to China with my father (with my sisters and I still living in the states), it would have made it even more difficult having my parents live so far away.

So, if you want to "improve your everyday life" and/or be part of the "woman thing", but your technology IQ is holding you back, here's what I'd suggest:

1) Be open to technological advances.

2) Experiment with new technologies that people around you are using - maybe you don't need it now, but you may discover a use for the technology later.

Oh, and don’t be fooled by the lack of women waiting in line for the next new gadget, thinking that it means that women are behind the technological curve. It’s all about letting the first movers (primarily men) pay the premium for the new product, discover all of the bugs in the initial release, and then waiting for the next installment of the technology that is not only cheaper, but oftentimes better because the bugs have been fixed (See Week in Review: Apple My Ire).

Smart.

What are your thoughts on Lily's blog?

Is there a generational component?

Do you agree with my premise that women's innate collaborational expertise needs to be married with technical chops in order for Tome Peters' "woman thing" to happen?

What could you make happen if you were to learn more about technology? In your personal or professional life?

Did you notice how the myth of Psyche is relevant even with things technical?

If you liked what Lily had to say -- and think it's terrific that she took the time to share her voice with us -- do give her an ATTA GIRL in the comments below.

And did you see what she does in her leisure time? Now that sounds fun!

Finally, if you feel that you have something to say, a story to tell, let me know!

About Lily Liang
Upon receiving a B.S. in Operations Research from Cornell University in 2001, Lily Liang moved to New York City to test out her process skills as a consultant with Accenture. She primarily worked as an interactive voice response (IVR) system functional designer for large telecommunication companies. Realizing that her true interests lie in working with products rather than in the services industry, Lily then took a job with the College Board with their Product Development group. She devoted her three years there with the SAT Program, helping them to introduce the new SAT with Writing as well as other new SAT initiatives. Her career at the College Board not only satisfied her need to work with meaningful products but inspired a new person interest in educational reform.

Lily is currently pursuing her MBA at Harvard Business School (HBS). She has enjoyed learning the different functional areas with which general managers interact, and continues to have an interest in working with meaningful products that have an impact on everyday lives. She recently completed a summer internship with Walmart.com where she developed a strategy to support their multi-channel shoppers.

Outside of the classroom, Lily is the Co-President of the HBS Dance Club as well as an Afro-Brazilian / Samba teacher and choreographer.

iPhone iNeed?

Some months ago in A Space for Women's Voices I wrote, "I may be only one storyteller, and this blog may not reach many, but for those it does reach, my hope is that Dare to Dream will be a place where women can come to hear empowering stories from and about other women, and are encouraged to start telling stories, our own stories, in which we claim a central place."

Lily Liang, my first guest blogger, is one of these storytellers. And, as a woman who majored in Operations Research (read: technology and computers) at Cornell, Lily is uniquely qualified to do the "woman thing" as called for by Tom Peters.

When my friend Paulina introduced me to Lily I was so engaged by her story, that I immediately asked if she would guest blog.

She has kindly consented; may you enjoy learning from her as much as I have.

I remember being genuinely surprised when I first read Whitney's iPhone inDifference posting and saw the picture that showed hardly any women waiting in line for the iPhone.

At the time, I was living in San Francisco interning with a dot com and spending most of my time outside of work socializing with other MBA interns who worked at start-ups and high tech companies, including Google and Apple.

I was surrounded by the iPhone craze. In fact, I even accepted an invitation to join a Facebook group that a classmate started called “I had to buy an iPhone because my calculator broke.”

However, I didn’t wait in line to buy an iPhone. Nor have I bought one since.

That's not because I don't like technology, I use technology every day.

I have a profile on Facebook, Friendster, LinkedIn, and MySpace.

I watch videos of missed So You Think You Can Dance episodes on YouTube.

I chat with friends and family via AIM, MSN Messenger, Yahoo! Messenger, and Google Talk.

I use Skype to speak with my parents who live in China.

I have a Blackberry as my phone.

And, in my professional life, technology is not only a medium of communication, it is a language in itself. During my career in IT/management consulting, I have had to put my business hat on to ensure a new project is conceptually sound, but it's been my technical background that has allowed me to ensure a project is operationally feasible.

And because I help to translate business needs into technical requirements – and vice versa – I'm able to make things happen.

I’m not the most well-versed in technology, particularly new ones, but I like to learn about them from those who are more technically-savvy. And I know enough, that I can use it to push a project forward.

So, why haven’t I purchased an iPhone?

Probably the same reason why I haven’t bought a flat panel TV or some fancy video game console like the Nintendo Wii (though, I experienced the Guitar Hero game this summer and it is simply awesome): I haven’t rationalized enough of a need to buy them at their current price points.

Trust me – I can convince myself of any new purchase, but being the guinea pig for a fancy gadget before knowing if it works well or how it truly differs than my blackberry has little appeal to me.

Which brings me back to why Whitney's iPhone inDifference gave me pause, and what I've concluded:

Women primarily adopt new technologies for function while men often adopt them to satisfy their egos. When I whip my blackberry out, I feel a little silly, but I find it incredibly useful to have email at my fingertips. For a man, the iPhone may offer neat features that help to organize his life better, but it also signifies a particular lifestyle and status that he wants to express to those around him. Do you know any man who keeps his new gadgets a secret?

Over the next decade, many technological advances will be introduced that will change the way we live our lives. Some will even assert that their advances will allow us to live better. We’ll be ordering groceries and getting same-day delivery to our homes with a touch of our cell phones. Robotics will become more commonplace in the household, evolving from current robotic technologies such as iRobot’s Roomba.

However, technology is most meaningful if it somehow improves our everyday lives.

For example, if my mother hadn’t been open to learning email, MSN Messenger and making phone calls over Skype after moving to China with my father (with my sisters and I still living in the states), it would have made it even more difficult having my parents live so far away.

So, if you want to "improve your everyday life" and/or be part of the "woman thing", but your technology IQ is holding you back, here's what I'd suggest:

1) Be open to technological advances.

2) Experiment with new technologies that people around you are using - maybe you don't need it now, but you may discover a use for the technology later.

Oh, and don’t be fooled by the lack of women waiting in line for the next new gadget, thinking that it means that women are behind the technological curve. It’s all about letting the first movers (primarily men) pay the premium for the new product, discover all of the bugs in the initial release, and then waiting for the next installment of the technology that is not only cheaper, but oftentimes better because the bugs have been fixed (See Week in Review: Apple My Ire).

Smart.

What are your thoughts on Lily's blog?

Is there a generational component?

Do you agree with my premise that women's innate collaborational expertise needs to be married with technical chops in order for Tome Peters' "woman thing" to happen?

What could you make happen if you were to learn more about technology? In your personal or professional life?

Did you notice how the myth of Psyche is relevant even with things technical?

If you liked what Lily had to say -- and think it's terrific that she took the time to share her voice with us -- do give her an ATTA GIRL in the comments below.

And did you see what she does in her leisure time? Now that sounds fun!

Finally, if you feel that you have something to say, a story to tell, let me know!

About Lily Liang
Upon receiving a B.S. in Operations Research from Cornell University in 2001, Lily Liang moved to New York City to test out her process skills as a consultant with Accenture. She primarily worked as an interactive voice response (IVR) system functional designer for large telecommunication companies. Realizing that her true interests lie in working with products rather than in the services industry, Lily then took a job with the College Board with their Product Development group. She devoted her three years there with the SAT Program, helping them to introduce the new SAT with Writing as well as other new SAT initiatives. Her career at the College Board not only satisfied her need to work with meaningful products but inspired a new person interest in educational reform.

Lily is currently pursuing her MBA at Harvard Business School (HBS). She has enjoyed learning the different functional areas with which general managers interact, and continues to have an interest in working with meaningful products that have an impact on everyday lives. She recently completed a summer internship with Walmart.com where she developed a strategy to support their multi-channel shoppers.

Outside of the classroom, Lily is the Co-President of the HBS Dance Club as well as an Afro-Brazilian / Samba teacher and choreographer.