dare to dream

The Galadriel test

Whether it's because of Hillary Clinton's candidacy, or because I recently saw Wicked, possibly both, I've been thinking a lot about women and power.

Not so much about the 'why's' and 'what it looks like' which Psyche's 2nd task addresses...

But rather, what do we as women do, when we have power, as did Glinda the Good, and Leah's sister Rachel?

As we learn from The Lord of the Rings, the Ring itself symbolizing power -- no matter how much we may desire to do good, once we have the power to do good, this power can corrupt us.

For example, do you remember when Frodo, encouraged by Lady Galadriel's goodness and wisdom, offers her the Ring?

She wants to accept it, oh, how she wants it, saying:

"I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired to ask what you offer.
And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely!
In place of a Dark Lord you will set up a Queen.
And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night!
Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning!
Stronger than the foundations of the earth.
All shall love me and despair!

Galadriel then lifted up her hand and from the ring that she wore and stood before Frodo seeming now tall beyond measurement, and beautiful beyond enduring, terrible and worshipful.

Then she let her hand fall, and the light faded, and suddenly she laughed again, and lo! she was shrunken: a slender elf-woman, clad in simple white, whose gentle voice was soft and sad.

'I pass the test,' she said."

When we believe we are Rachel, and we all do in some contexts, what do we do with the power that redounds to us? How do we safeguard ourselves from corruption?

For women that are mothers and/or teachers, haven't we had the opportunity to make those in our care worship us? To love us and despair! All mothers and teachers have this power. How do we wield it?

How does the power handed to us change as we move from our 20's to our 30's, 40's to our 50's to our 60's?

Did Glinda the Good's power corrupt her? How?

Following up on Stacey P's comments regarding the double entendre in the lyrics 'For Good', does the power we wield change people for the better, or just 'for good'?

When was your last Galadriel test?

How did you do?

Getting gratitude

I have not been able to get Anna Kerr's comment that "we are desperate and depressed because our society encourages us to be dissatisfied" off my mind.

It was a reminder that we need to not only look up and ahead, but down and back, and that as we dare and dream, and then 'get', if we aren't grateful for 'what we get', we'll still be desperate and depressed.

With a nod and big thank you to Anna, here's a list of things (and their respective categories) that I am grateful for:

1) God's grace -- God's grace is something we don't deserve, but are given anyway, unfettered and unconditionally. For me, it is the fall foliage in New England. It is glorious to behold.

What providential gift, or gift of grace, are you grateful for?

2) Gift of another's self -- This is a gift that comes when people play to their strengths and give us something we very much need or want, but can't give to ourselves. Because it is generously given, it is systergy at its purest, but certainly not the exclusive domain of women, as my friend Aaron demonstrated this past week.

LaNola Kathleen Stone is a superb example of this 'gift of self'. Kathleen has taken our family's Christmas pictures since Miranda was a baby. Because she is willing to play to her specific strengths and intelligences, every year Kathleen sees magnificence in my children that I certainly couldn't, and dare I say, few photographers could, as seen below.

What gift of another's self are you grateful for?

3) What I'm good at -- This will likely be the hardest one to come up with as it requires us to do precisely what Anna Fels' research and the Bem Sex Role Inventory indicate that feminine women don't do -- pull attention toward ourselves. Even after months of 'soapboxing' about this, I would have readily deflected had my friends Brooke and Stacey not gently encouraged me to stiffen my spine. And so.... I'm grateful that I am good at coming up with an idea or vision for a project AND that I can then execute against my vision; take Know Your Neighbor, for instance.

What are you grateful to be good at? What are your strengths? Is there a way that your 'good at' can be given as a gift of your self?

4) Simple pleasures -- This is something that makes us happy. Period. Like listening to Earth, Wind and Fire's Can't Hide Love. I loved this song as a 16 year-old. And I still love it. Every time I hear that magnificent horn introduction on my iPod, I am happy. A simple pleasure.

What simple pleasure are you grateful for?

P.S. Just this morning there was a terrific article in the NY Times titled Let us give thanks. In writing., and includes a quote from Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project.

Why I liked Wicked

It's been nearly three years since my friend Vanessa introduced me to the music of Wicked, a prequel to The Wizard of Oz about two young witches, Elphaba and Glinda, who came to be the Wicked Witch of the West, and The Good Witch of the North, respectively.

I finally saw it last month; it was worth the wait.

There is so much I could say, but here are the highlights, including a special YouTube treat:

1) Elphaba = Leah. Though clearly more talented than Glinda, because no one thinks her so, except those that want to use her, Elphaba feels undervalued and isolated. What would have happened if she could have believed, and others had believed, especially her parents and teachers, that she was Rachel? Would she have become The Wicked Witch of the West? Likely not.

Do we as parents, teachers, friends, family ever contribute to those in our care believing they are Leah?

2) Glinda = Rachel. I often talk of remembering we are Rachel, yet Wicked taught me that there are women who happily haven't forgotten. It also prompted the realization that just as Leah has her light side (stretching and striving), there can be a dark side to Rachel (being corrupted by the power and privilege that redounds to Rachel).

When in a situation in which we are beloved, as was Glinda the Good Witch, do we ever pull a Popular? Do we become so enamored with the fairy godmother persona that we inadvertently demean others? Can we guard against this corruption?

3) For Good, which celebrates the friendship of Elphaba and Glinda, could also be a systergy anthem. Listen to the lyrics as Kristen Chenoweth and Idina Menzel, the original stars, rehearse; I'll be curious to hear if you agree.

Who has changed your life for good? Have you seen Wicked? What were your highlights?

Making meaning in Malawi

It is time to make space for another voice -- a lovely voice.

Belle Liang (who I met through my friend Jane -- go systergy!) is a professor at Boston College, and an expert on youth mentoring. In 2006, Belle's students launched an outreach website Generation Pulse, a place where high school and college-age students can come to discover their pulse, their who they are, by telling their stories.

Belle and her husband David, an adult internist and pediatric physician, have for several years been involved in relief work, work that has shaped her "faith, vision and sense of purpose". In the below essay poem, Belle tells of her encounter with two Malawian newborns, one who dies, one who lives.

May you be as moved as I was.

beauty and death

Our minds spin with the contrasting images of Malawi.
The dirt roads, goats and dogs wandering, huts with thatched roofs,
the faces, sweet faces, some laughing, and watching us
others crying, looking away, quietly dying.
Most of all, I remember the singing voices of youth praising God
just like angels from heaven.

Two babies are born, perfect and pure.
Disease attacks and now they are dying,
the first one in the arms of her grandmother
who has very recently buried her daughter.

As we witness this mystery of suffering
we try to revive her AIDs stricken body.
We watch her chest rise and fall so deliberately
gasping her last breaths, at four in the morning,
she dies.

We are sick with despair as she fades away in this dark hospital
and her grandmother is all alone and cannot cry.

God, why?

And just as hope is fading,
the other baby arrives gasping her last breaths
but she lives.

Not only lives, God has special plans for her
to bring a doctor thousands of miles
to save her.

Oh what mercy and grace
that one tiny life counts.

And so we have no answers
just a veiled sense
that despair and hope live side by side.

There is a link between death and beauty
for it is the splendor of living that so ignites our mind's eye
that makes us more conscious of death.

It is despair in this place,
that causes us to long for,
and rejoice at Hope's arrival.

Just beautiful.

Thank you Belle.

What part of your life have you yet to make meaning of? What story is waiting to be told? Through word, music, painting, drawing?

Belle's story seems to be a metaphor for moving to a both/and mindset? What are your thoughts?

About Belle Liang
Belle Liang, an education professor at Boston College and a national expert on youth mentoring, is the author of numerous papers and several new measures for the study of qualities underlying growth-fostering peer, community and mentor relationships. In an upcoming book, First Do No Harm: A Call for Ethical Guidelines in Youth Mentoring (Harvard University Press), she and her colleagues synthesize the research on youth mentoring in ways that are accessible to practitioners not in academia.

Liang and her students also recently launched an award-winning Web outreach project created for and by young people called GenerationPulse that has received hundreds of submissions in its first year.

Systergy in St. Louis

Systergy, n. A collection of women, who by daring and dreaming together, will make synergistic contributions to their own lives and the world.

Dana King sent along an article from St. Louis At Home on The Spirit of St. Louis Women's Fund, a superb example of systergy.

As founder, Shelby Schagrin explains, women who join this organization commit to do just two things:

1) Give money -- Each member promises to give $1,200 a year for five years; 90 percent goes to the charities; 10% to overhead. With over 100 women in the Fund, that's over $100k/year for five years (at least) that will be invested in the community.

2) Vote on where the money goes -- Last year over 300 proposals were presented. A committee reviewed the proposals, visited applicants and put together a final ballot of candidates. Among the nine organizations funded were Gateway to Hope, an outreach for women with breast cancer who can't afford medical treatment, and La Clinica, a prenatal healthy baby program.

Ms. Schagrin concludes her interview with the words, "Together we can do more than we can do apart."

Systergy in word and in deed.

Atta Girls Shelby Schagrin and Susan Block!

Are there any "investment" clubs like this in your community?

If not, have you thought about starting one? Possibly in Boston?

The Spirit of St. Louis Women's Fund is an example of institutionalized systergy. Any other institutions that you can think of where systergy is formalized? What about on an informal, ad hoc basis?

Handicrafts for our hero's journey

Handicrafts foster a feeling of sisterhood among women. From quilting bees to craft blogs, I'm thrilled to be a part of the growing movement toward creative community. Heather Bailey

Every once in awhile I come across handicrafts and/or artwork in the blogosphere that make me so happy that I find myself returning again and again, encouraged to dare and to dream.

May I share three with you?

Ashley G
Ashley's Off I Go evokes the start of a hero's journey -- to become who we are, we must go where we haven't been.

Photo courtesy of Ashley Goldberg

Heather Bailey
Heather's studio symbolically reminds us that we need to create a physical space, if only a small corner of our world, devoted to daring and dreaming.

Photo courtesy of Heather Bailey

Jennifer Judd-McGee
When I look at Jennifer's Little Boxes, I see a metaphor for systergy. Systergy is fully operative when we are willing to look for and grab on to our selves (as represented by the individual homes) AND to share our selves with one another (the patchwork quilt which binds the homes together).

Photo courtesy of Jennifer Judd-McGee

How did you feel when you saw this artwork?

Which handicraft blogs inspire you to dream, to imagine and explore?

Will you share them with us?

Thank heaven for little Rachels

My daughter Miranda turns 7 years-old today.

When I look at this photo of her (taken by LaNola Kathleen Stone), I can't help but be grateful.

For when I observe Miranda, and most young girls (remember Connie Talbot), I feel as if I am watching Rachel.

Miranda relishes being a girl.

She is generous.
She is compassionate.
AND
She is capable and confident.

Most little girls know they are Rachel, but then we forget.

As we invite them into our world, we can re-learn this truth.

Thank heaven for little Rachels.

dare to dreamgirl: Dana King

I almost missed this.

Dana King is my co-blogger at Know Your Neighbor; we talk (virtually) virtually every day. 

She'd been toying with the idea of blogging for months; Dana has something to say AND she wants to find her voice.

Having launched her blog in late August, Dana is now blogging several times a week, and I almost -- almost -- zoomed right past her accomplishment.

Until I remembered what I learned from rock climbing:  look both up, and down, forward -- and back.

Dana has many, many wonderful, grand plans, which makes looking back difficult to do. 

It's so easy to wonder - next, next -- what's next?

But, I need to, I want to, celebrate the launch of her blog, to celebrate the fact that this delightful, engaging, tremendously competent woman (just take a look at her Habitat for Humanity project) is both finding and sharing her voice.

Congratulations Dana -- like Jane , you are now an official, bona fide, dare to dreamgirl!

Will each of you, dear readers, go to Dana's blog and tell her Atta Girl?

Any of your recent accomplishments -- along the way, if you will - that we need to celebrate?

What about with our children -- are we giving them Atta Girls and Atta Boys -- for their accomplishments?

What about our spouses, friends?