dare to dream

Finding my Voice: An Interview with Rebecca Cressman

Earlier this week, I was interviewed by Rebecca Cressman about why 'dare to dream', what's the Resolutionary Challenge, and why do I so frequently discuss pop culture on my blog?

If you'd like to listen to the interview, click here.  

Can I then be star-struck for a moment, and tell you it was fun to see archived interviews with Kelsey Nixon, who my daughter and I watched vie to be the Next Food Network Star, and Brandon Sanderson, one of my favorite fantasy-science fiction authors; I just finished his Mistborn trilogy.  

I also noticed an interview with Sam Beeson who I suspect is the son of Dick Beeson, the Director of the Orem Public Library when I worked there during my last two years of college.  Books, books -- and more books.  And wonderful people.  

One of my best jobs ever.

If you you are thinking that it was comfortable for me to share this interview with you, and you are wondering why it's easy for Whitney and not for me, it wasn't.

My initial impulse was to bury the interview as a post-script for another entry. 

But, my husband, superb peer mentor that he is, kindly reminded me that if I am going to suggest you walk through your fear, I might want to walk through mine.

If you'd like to read more pontifications on topics about which I am pressed to try and live up to lest I discover myself a wholesale hypocrite, take a look at these posts.   

1. Finding my voice:  an Interview with Maria Carr
2. Dreaming or deflecting?
3. NY Times:  For Girls, It's Be Yourself...
4. Second Thoughts on Psyche's 2nd Task
5. Learning to 'Let it Be':  A lesson from Brooke White

Send Perfectionism Packing

I've thought about this post for several days, but have put it off.

Ironic, but not surprising I suppose, given the topic is perfectionism.  

As a child, there were so many things I did well, I could afford to be a perfectionist.  In high school it became a problem.  I almost didn't take AP American History.  I didn't take Calculus.  Nor would I take Econ because I feared I couldn't get an 'A'.  I did get 'A's in the classes I took, but in retrospect, a 'B' in Calculus, rather than no calculus at all given my chosen career, probably would have been a decent trade.

Enter the workforce.

When I got to New York, I wanted to succeed so badly, I had to square off with my perfectionism, muscling through the fear.

And I had to learn a few tricks.  Like breaking things down into small enough pieces that I wouldn't be overwhelmed.  Or telling myself to spend just spend 5 minutes putting everything together that I'd need, and then I could go do something else.

Even a decade ago, I probably wouldn't have participated in the Resolutionary Challenge because I  couldn't have gotten a 10 every day.  Now I'm happy to get the score I get (and it's never a 10) because I'm willing to take happier and healthier, over perfect or bust.

 

Courtesy:  Sarah Jane Studios  

When I do send perfectionism packing (and when I can't quite, I pull out a few tricks to pretend as if I have), I try more new things, and I learn more.

I can model for my children how to cope with perfectionism.

I get more accomplished because I procrastinate less.

I stop something I've started when I realize it's not worth finishing.

I am willing to date dreams, knowing I don't have to marry them.

Most importantly, I can welcome in my world.

Happily. Exuberantly.

With arms outstretched.

If you didn't feel the need to be perfect at a 'thing', what would you try doing?

What dream would you like to date?

What are you currently working on that isn't worth finishing?

What tips do you have for outwitting perfectionism?

My husband who is trained as a scientist can break projects into very small, logical pieces -- he is a superb peer mentor.  How can some of the men in our lives -- fathers, brothers, sons, husbands, colleagues - mentor us?   

Related posts:
Living the dream.  Life's a breeze.  Not.
If you get defensive, you're getting close
What if Madeleine L'Engle hadn't dare to dream?
Getting back in the saddle of our possibilities
Mum's the word

Announcing 'The Amaranth Enchantment'

My 'I' loved Julie Berry's debut novel The Amaranth Enchantment.

 

The heroine, Lucinda Chapdelaine, embarks on a feminine hero's journey; she connects to and cares for others AND she gets the guy.  

Because Julie's my friend, you could argue I'm biased.

 

I am.

 

But here's what three of the industry's most reputable reviewers, including Publisher's Weekly (note the Starred Review from what industry insiders describe as "Coke to Kirkus' Pepsi"), Booklist and Kirkus have said.

 

The Amaranth Enchantment Julie Berry. Bloomsbury, $16.99 (306p) ISBN 978-1-59990-334-7

Berry's enticing debut novel teems with romance, danger and suspense. Lucinda, a 15-year-old orphan, leads a miserable existence as a servant until she gains possession of an unusual stone belonging to Beryl, a reputed witch. As luck would have it, the gem is stolen and sold to a prince before Lucinda even realizes it is gone. Most of the plot centers on Lucinda's adventures trying to retrieve the stone from the prince, with whom she predictably falls in love. Fantasy buffs will delight in the author's playful use of fairy tale conventions—unlike Cinderella, Lucinda has the good sense to retrieve her lost slipper after attending a ball (“I considered leaving it there, but one footfall in my stocking feet on the cold granite changed my mind”). But the book's main appeal comes from the revelations of many secrets and unexpected twists, including the truth about Beryl. Lucinda has to work harder than most such heroines to acquire her happily-ever-after ending, but her efforts eventually pay off, while leaving readers with enough unanswered questions to set imaginations spinning. Ages 10–14. (Mar.)

"Intriguing characters, fine plotting, and a richly worked narrative."  Booklist

“A lively, quick, stylish, engaging first novel."  Kirkus Reviews

 

On March 5, I am going to the Wellesley Booksmith (I hope with my 8 year-old daughter) to the book kick-off party, buy a copy and get it signed.

On March 6, Julie will host a signing at the Kings English Bookshop in Salt Lake City.

My 8 year-old, Miranda, and I loved the March 5 book-signing; the young girls were riveted, accounting for nearly all the questions asked.   Miranda and I are reading the book together for a Mother-Daughter book club that we're in; Miranda is also lobbying to have Julie Berry come speak at her school.

When you get a moment, will you go to www.julieberrybooks.com and tell Julie 'Atta Girl'?

Or better yet, tell her in person.

***

My favorite 'dare to dream' passage is at the beginning of Chapter 18.  What's yours?

For those of you interested in questions for a mother-daughter book club, click here for a list that my daughter and I compiled.

Related posts:

1. Affirming our 'I'dentity
2. Myth of Psyche
3. Enchanted Anger
4. Getting in the Game 

Helps for Saying our Name

Heather Bailey and Melanie Mauer's recent postings are relevant to 'dare to dream':

Heather Bailey
I've posted about Heather here and here.  The quality of her work is so superb, her style so breezy, I mistakenly believed the achieving of her 'dream' was effortless...

...Until I heard her 'tell her story' in this post. 

When we tell our story we begin to 'name what hasn't been named or recognizable' in our selves -- and encourage others to do the same.

***

Melanie Mauer
I always leave her blog happy; her idea is so terrific, that I could only comment to her LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.

 

In Saying our name, I suggested we buy domain names for ourselves and our children, but what if we also 'said our name' by getting Mommy, or even personal, Calling Cards?  In fact, I love this idea so much -- perhaps this should be one of the final prizes for the Resolutionary Challenge?

What are your thoughts?

Why not flowers?

I don't know about you.

 

But I LOVE flowers.

 

I love buying them for others and for myself -- especially during the wintertime.

 

Source:  stockphoto

 

Some may consider it self-indulgent to buy themselves flowers; my 12 year-old son told me precisely that tonight.  But (yep -- I disagree with my 12 year-old) who is better qualified to pick out precisely the right flowers for you than you?

    

And while you're at it, buy some for someone else.  

 

Source:  stockphoto

 

Maybe for a boyfriend or spouse for Valentine's Day, but why not also...

 

Send some to a friend that has a 3-month old baby, is sleep-deprived, and could use a pick-me-up? 

 

Or a friend that has just moved to a new state and/or started a new job?

 

Source:  istockphoto

 

Or maybe, just maybe, you want one of your dearest friends to know how wonderful you think she is.

 

So you send her flowers.

 

Just because.

 

P.S.  For dreamers and Resolutionaries, all of you with a score of 70% or better for Weeks 3 and 4 will be eligible for the Random Giveaway of a bouquet of flowers -- remember to fill in your points by Monday evening, February 9!