Saren Eyre Loosli: The Power Of Moms

Saren Eyre Loosli, mother of five kids in five years, and co-founder of Power of Moms holds a B.A. from Wellesley College and a Masters in Education from Harvard. She's consulted and conducted training for numerous non-profits including the National Institute on Out-of-School Time, YMCA and One-Heart Bulgaria and has traveled to Africa and South America with Choice Humanitarian.

After you read through Saren's post, will you share with her your own feelings and experiences (and become eligible for the $75 gift certificate to a spa of your choice), giving her the gift of being heard?

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As I studied third world development and international relations in my undergraduate studies and went on to study what education is and what more it could be with my Masters, I figured out a whole lot of seemingly brilliant solutions to many vital issues.

But somehow I never quite got in the position to implement my ideas.  I did some cool things – worked in orphanages in Eastern Europe, did a little humanitarian work in Kenya and Bolivia, ran volunteer-promotion efforts nationwide, set up programs in needy schools....    

...then I started having kids.

Because my fertility clock was ticking when I finally found “Mr. Right,” we started our family quickly, the kids came in quick succession, and thanks to a surprise set of twins, I had five kids in just five years.

I loved my kids dearly and was grateful that my deeply-held dream of having a family had come true.  But mothering didn't come as naturally to me as it does to some. The photo below with my daughter crying, one which I've ironically titled 'Happy, Happy Family' encapsulates how difficult those few years were.

In attending to my family, I saw my personal need to be involved in the larger world drift further and further away.  I crammed bits and pieces of work for various worthy causes (part-time training and consulting for non-profits, service work for my church, helped a non-profit serving orphanages in Bulgaria get off the ground) in between naps and diaper changes and story time.  But mostly my life consisted of doing rather mundane and often unpleasant things for lots of noisy messy wonderful people with many mutually exclusive needs.

One day I read a quote by Mother Teresa's that stuck with me:  “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”  Motherhood is perhaps the greatest example of a long, long string of small things that, done with great love and extra thought, can have ripple effects that go on for generations.

I came to realize that maybe my “cause,” my purpose in life, was right under my nose.  Perhaps mothering my own kids, helping make the schools in my own community better, being a good neighbor and friend, and learning from and helping the other mothers around me was a much “grander” cause than any other I could pursue.

While it's true that my kids are informed about world issues and pray each night for the orphans in Bulgaria that we do a fund raiser for each Christmas, I hope my kids also are learning something it took me a whole lot of years to figure out:  Doing little things to better the world immediately around you and helping with the things you're already PART OF is vital and beautiful – and often more personally satisfying than trying to impact big groups and sweeping causes.

Taking treats to a lonely neighbor is just as important as sending money to a lonely orphan.  Offering friendship to a left-out kid at school is just as important as giving food to a hungry child in Africa.  Volunteering in my own kids' classroom is just as important as changing education systems.

AND... Helping bright, motivated moms find each other and share what they know is just as important as helping non-profits pool their resources and learn from each other.

The micro matters a LOT.  The macro doesn't happen without the micro.  It really is the little things that count.

You and I can change the world, by changing our world...

One person, one mother, one family at a time.

Starting right here with you and me.  

As you read through Saren's post, and re-read Rebecca Nielsen's Rightsizing our Dream and Christine Vick's Simply Living, what similarities do you observe?  What similarities/differences to your own life?

I was speaking with Janna Taylor yesterday of Mindfull Tutors in Manhattan.  As a professional tutor, the micro matters a lot.  How does the micro matter in other areas of our lives?

When children have parents that encourage them to develop their gifts (which ideally is what we will all do with our own children), they have many, many options.  When we have options, we get to make choices, but we also have to make choices.  It's the feminine hero's journey....

After you leave a comment here, becoming eligible for the gift certificate giveaway, click through to Saren's blog and to her website The Power Of Moms and enjoy with her and other mothers the micro of mothering!

Comments

[Bonnie White]

This was just lovely and your candid yet thoughtful conclusion of what you are doing on the micro level resonated with me. Is this not the same principle that God instructed Joseph Smith: by the simple things of this world...Loved it and BTW your children are lovely.

[Jenny]

Lovely, lovely.
"Motherhood is perhaps the greatest example of a long, long string of small things that, done with great love and extra thought, can have ripple effects that go on for generations."
To stop and consider the above thought puts me in a serene place. I ought to vinyl letter it above my kitchen sink.
Five in Five gives me the mental image of you, riding a unicycle, with five kids on top of your shoulders in a lovely formation... SUCH HARD! WORK, but you look so graceful.

[Lisle]

Thank you! Your post makes me feel better about my choice to only worry about the things that I can actually do. Your words kind of crystallize the thought that I don't need to worry so much about the things I can't do, and focus on the things that I CAN.

[allison]

I have always appreciated your candid honesty and talent for explaining what I often feel and usually have a hard time explaining. I also appreciated your invitation on your own blog to answer some of those hard questions for myself and I plan to find the time to consider my own purpose the impact I am on those around me. Thanks, Saren!

[Amy Jo]

I feel as if this puts into words my feelings about motherhood and all the little mundane things we do each day. Not that those things are important, but it's part of a process that can produce so much more greater things - our children and their contributions to society, and the effect they can have on future generations. Well done.

[Janna]

I am not a mother, but I can definitely relate to the feeling that the little, mundane things one does each day aren't really getting me anywhere or making a difference in the world. I fold the laundry, wipe down the kitchen counter over and over, clean the bathroom, say hello to a person in the elevator, lug the 12 pack of Diet Coke home from CVS, pet a puppy on the street - similar things that everybody, mother or not, does almost every day. It's easy to diminish the micro.

But it's the micro that keeps it all "oiled" and going. It's showing up and doing it, day in - day out, in whatever sphere you are in.

[Mercedes]

Saren -- your kids are lovely. i really liked the first photo of your family: two sleepy newborns, one upset little girl, two little boys who look like they'd rather be playing than posing for a picture.

i loved it because i think it shows in such a candid way how demanding being a mother can be. thinking about solutions to macro level problems is hard when you have five little people with five agendas living in your house!

i'm not a mother either but i really like janna's comment about doing the small and mundane things to keep the machine oiled and running. i have a hard time reading a book, writing, or even watching TV unless the space i'll be using is clean and tidy. in doing the small things, like cleaning, i prepare and environment in which bigger things are possible. you are SO right the macro doesn't happen without the micro.

[Janna]

Mercedes - You perfectly conveyed my meaning! Thanks. I was having a hard time finding the words.

[Janika]

Saren,
Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us! Having a set of twins in my quiver, I can totally relate with the "Happy, happy family" photo! I have learned so much about mothering from reading your mom's books and reading your sister's blog, and now I'm excited to learn from you as well! I also gain so much inspiration from Mother Theresa, especially the story where she was feeling so overwhelmed by all of the needy people in Calcutta. She desperately wanted to help all of them, but knew she physically could not. In frustration, she prayed and received the answer, "Minister to the one nearest you." I love that answer and, as a mother, get to implement it everyday. Thanks again for helping us put this mothering adventure into perspective.

[Stephanie]

Thank you for writing this. As a mom, it is so easy to get lost in the minutia of the day and lose sight of the fact that every hug, every kiss, even every glance, is deeply significant to our children. I also love your "ripple effects" summation. Beautiful.