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September 19, 2009

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Melissa describes a universal phenomenon of knowing everything about parenting before becoming one. Ah, yes, I have been there. My mantra now is, "There but for the grace of God go I!" Having said that, the one time I am judgmental is when parents make no attempt to restrain their children's worst impulses (or, even worse, validate them). The parent who is tirelessly trying to comfort a crying baby has my complete empathy. The parent who ignores his/her offspring's antisocial behavior earns my deep enmity. :-)

Wow, how true it is that when we judge less we experience systergy more. Great story.

Totally agree with how easy it is to judge, yet how detrimental it can be. Having worked hard for several years to become less judgmental (and still working on it), I have found a freedom to pursue relationships and to empathize with others in ways that I did not have in my judgmental youth.

I am reminded of that saying that we judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Some time ago, I actually started making notes to myself to read when my children are my age (56) and I am a much older senior. I want to remind myself what is and what isn't working in my relationship with my senior mother so I don't do it to my children.

I have often put myself on the reverse side of this story; paranoid that others are judging my imperfect skills as a stay at home mom. I try very hard not to see imperfection in other moms, as I worry [too much] about how others judge me. I'm getting better about holding my face to the wind, and less afraid of the spit.

I too have spit in the wind. Now I just smile at those that are spitting for I know it will come full circle. Part of getting wisdom and experience through living life.

I have found that the more accepting I am of others, the more I accept myself also, and it goes the other way too. The more comfortable I am with myself, the easier life seems.

Bonnie, I love the idea of writing notes to myself in the future. I think I'll start.

Hmm. This post makes me think of all the school pictures I sent back to have retaken, and then one day I realized I really just wanted pictures of my kids the way they actually look, and they way they actually pose for the photographer. They're kind of goofy, but fun.

And I've only seen my house clean at Christmastime...

Empathy is so crucial as we try to support one another as women. Great article.

Thanks, ladies. You all made such wise comments. Amy Jo: Yes, the spitters do, eventually, get spit upon.

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  • When I took a sabbatical from Wall Street to pursue a different dream and help others live theirs, I learned that women in the U.S. may be placated, even pampered, but because we aren't dreaming, we are also desperate and depressed. Drawing on a variety of sources, ranging from academic studies to pop culture, dare to dream encourages us to dream. And then to act on our dreams.

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