dare to dream

HBR Blog: Brooksley Born and the Power of an Opposing Idea

Here's the link to my latest post over at HBR blogs: 

Ms. Born is a Stanford-trained lawyer, first female to graduate top of her class, etc.  Her story is riveting.  After you read the post, see below for some of my wonderings.

 
Source:  JFK Library -- Ms. Born is receiving the JFK Profiles in Courage award

Whereas I focused on what we as individuals or organizations do when we deal with ideas in opposition to ours over at HBR, here I'd like to focus on what it must feel like to be opposed, opposed (and right) such that she has been dubbed the Credit Crisis Cassandra:  Cassandra is the Greek Goddess who was granted both the gift of seeing the future, and the curse of no one believing her predictions.

Here are my questions:

1)  As Wikipedia describes Cassandra, she is a figure both of the epic tradition and tragedy, where her combination of deep understanding and powerlessness exemplify the tragic condition of humankind.  How must it have felt to have this burden?

2)  In watching the Frontline episode, the attacks were harsh and unrelenting by very powerful people.  How did she bear up under this pressure?

3) She was right.  Others were wrong.  And they were mean about it.  And yet, when you listen to her speak, there is no anger, no recrimination in her voice - only graciousness.  How?  How did she get to this place, a place I would hope we all get to?

4)  Are we not as Cassandra with the people we love, in particular with our children?  We can see where certain decisions will lead; we also know that our utterance of those predictions will more than likely go unheeded.

5) What wonderings do you have? Do you and I have the courage to say what we know to be true? Articulately, but kindly, even under pressure?

6)  When faced with an idea in opposition to our own do you think that Sally's Harker's theory of morning sickness is apropos?

Oh, to ask Ms. Born all these questions -- and more.

What are your questions?  Thoughts? 

Opening My Mouth About Money

Money.  You can't live with it.  You can't live without it.

Several years ago, a friend suggested that I discuss 'money' on my blog.  And I have. Once. In the piece A Downpayment on our Dream.  But frankly I have avoided this topic.  Ironic given what I do for a living.  Sex may be little discussed, money even less so.

But I'm not sure that's wise. Especially after a recent conversation with my accountant Carol Sanchez.  She writes:

This money thing is so important.  I can't tell you how many divorces I have in my client base since the economy took a bad turn.  Churches should teach financial literacy and I don't mean the basics because it can destroy homes, families and communities. 

Marriages are a casualty of war; it had never occurred to me they could also be the casualty of a downturn.

 
Source:  istockphoto

And so I wonder -- do I, do we, need to start thinking about and talking about money, and in partiulcar, the choices we make around our money?  After all, really growing up is about making and owning choices.  How we deploy our money seems like a pretty big choice given it affects us, our family, and community.

And what of our dreams?

I want to produce a documentary.  Financing required.
I want to fund women-owned businesses.  Financing required.
Oh -- and I want my children to go to college.  Financing required for that too.

So much to do.
So many dreams.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote in his essay, "Self Reliance, "In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty."

I don't know that there will be genius here, but the thoughts have been rejected, and now they certainly are coming back.  Let's see what happens.

Opening my mouth about money:  Money with a Capital M.

Have you been thinking about money?

Do you manage your money or does someone else?

Do you live better without it?  Or with it?

What dreams do you have that will require financing?

Kristy Williams: Five Dreams I Think I'll Date

Kristy Williams is a former Bain management consultant and corporate strategist who now focuses her time on motherhood and visits to the zoo and beach. She grew up in small town Alberta, Canada and now lives in downtown San Diego.  She loves urban living and hopes to always be able to walk to the grocery store.  Her hobbies including most anything done outdoors, reading The Economist, traveling and planning parties.

***

Goals have always been a central part of my life.  I like feeling proactive and productive and enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes once goals are achieved.  As I read Whitney's article Making Space for Your Dream, I realized that while I continue to set goals, I'm plumb out of dreams.

In the busy years after college, I worked challenging jobs, traveled to many places throughout the world, met a wonderful man whom I married and became a mother.  In the process, I achieved the dreams set in high school and college.  In all the excitement of those years, new dreams weren't really needed.  The pace of my life has now slowed, making room for dreams once again.

But what do I dream of?

Source:  istockphoto

I want dreams I can work on now, recognizing that full realization may be 15-30 years off once the role of full-time mother lessens in intensity.   Many weeks of introspection have yielded five dreams I'm going to consider in 2010.  Each of the five potential dreams is something I enjoy, but until I spend some time with them, I won't know if they merit dream status.  So while I'm happily married, I'm going to spend some time dating this year-dating my dreams to determine which ones are right for me.

Dream No. 1:
Writing (of the non-fiction variety).
My first date has gone well-writing and publishing this post about my dreams has been engaging, stretching and rewarding.  I want to come up with two more topics and find two other places to publish.  Future dates will involve considering how I can make writing a more consistent part of my life.

Do you have any ideas on how to make writing a part of my everyday (or more realistically every week?)

Dream No. 2:
Business consulting. 
I did this for a living and, on the whole, enjoyed it.  I love reading about business and chatting with my husband about his start-up.  My first few dates with this dream will be all brainstorming.  How can I consult in my spare time?  Who would be interested in short blocks of commitment?  One option would be to focus on creatives -- those selling their wares via a personal website or etsy, or other small business owners.  I could provide support in creating a strategy, identifying a focused market group, setting prices, etc.

Do you know of any creatives whose work you love, or great business ideas generally?

Source:  istockphoto

Dream No. 3:
Teaching
This can start simply, perhaps by inviting some friends for a one-off class/discussion.  First date:  come up with a topic I'm passionate about (see above?)  Second date:  Develop the material and invite people to come.  Further down the line this could lead to something more structured -- maybe a class at the local high school (filled with underprivileged teens) on preparing for college.

Any thoughts on classes that would be interesting?  Or have any of you done something similar?

Dream No. 4
Politics
While a long-term dream may be to run for office, my efforts now will involve researching the candidates running for governor in California.  If I like one of the candidates, I'll date some more by looking at ways to get involved in the campaign.  Or I may keep this simple -- get involved by joining the on-line dialogue on politically-based sites.

Have you gotten involved in politics locally?  What did you do?  Any sites you'd recommend - perhaps around engagement for women and mothers?

Dream No. 5
Competitive Running/Triathlons
The competitive part is surely many, many years off, but in the meantime, I can get involved in racing.  I'm going to identify five races that pique my interest and start by running in a local 10K.

Readers, what is your favorite race format?  Why?

Source:  istockphoto

With all the focus on dreams this year, I am bound to discover something that excites me and provides enlightenment, energy, and joyful anticipation as I work to determine who I want to become.

What suggestions do you have for Kristy?  Any businesses you'd like to see contract her services?

And yes, she's agreed to write a follow-up post in July -- to tell us what she's learning, and how dream speed-dating is going.

What dreams are you going to date? 

HBR Blog: Can you Bootstrap?

Bootstrap (n):  group of metaphors that share a common meaning, a self-sustaining process that proceeds without external help

Here's my latest post over at HBR; and some additional thoughts.

When we scrabble, we are daring, aren't we? 

I, perhaps like you, get discouraged on occasion, but don't our dreams come true often enough that we don't give up?  And every once in awhile even, opportunities to dream come unexpectedly. 

Regardless, I am believing more than ever that the 'making do' that we do, the time it takes for dreams to happen, is a gift.   If we get everything we think we want, I'm not sure we'd know what to make of opportunities when they do come, and rather than seeing our possibilities continue to expand, perhaps they would diminish.

What are your thoughts?

Do you agree with my premise that women are much better bootstrappers than the data from Entrepreneur Magazine would suggest?

How has learning to make-do helped you be able to do more?

An Antidote to Procrastination

There are so many things that need to be done and yet I don’t do them. Why do I keep putting things off? 

Psychologist Timothy Pychyl writes in a piece titled, Teeenagers, Identity and Procrastination that if we can’t answer the questions ‘Who am I?’ ‘What am I?’, we are more likely to procrastinate.

In a study conducted amongst undergraduates, Dr. Pychyl and graduate student Matthew Shanahan learned that a lack of identity (knowing who we are) was positively correlated with procrastination.  Said another way, when the undergraduates 'knew who they were', they were less likely to procrastinate.

Most of us have observed the skill with which young adults procrastinate, but isn't it also true that we have had periods in our lives when we ourselves were notorious procrastinators?  And not just when we were in college? 

Source:  istockphoto

According to Dr. Pychyl, procrastination can be explained by the interconnectedness between identity and agency.  “Identity is that knowledge of who we are.  Agency is the belief that we are in control of our decisions, we make things happen.  Being an active agent, depends on identity, or knowing who we are.”

If we are going to make things happen, we need to know who we are.

Perhaps then, the antidote to procrastination, is not to browbeat ourselves about putting things off, but rather to put them off some more, and focus on figuring out who we are.  We just might discover that when we return to our to-do list, we're getting things done.

Had you ever considered that you (or your children) might procrastinate when you aren't sure of who you are?

What about the times in your life when you are really productive, how is your 'knowing who you are' during those times?

If you are feeling like you want to get more done, what if you were to focus on your identity for a few months, or for even a few moments a day?     

Resolutionary Challenges 2010 Starts January 11

This year's Resolutionary Challenge starts on Monday.

I don't know about you, but when it comes to New Year's Resolutions, I need baby steps lest I get overwhelmed and quit after a few days.  Because the Resolutionary Challenge is about the process, even if I do five of the ten tasks per day, that's 1-2 more than I would have otherwise done, and I get to feel good about myself today, in the immediate now.  If I don't have such a stellar showing one day, I can re-boot the next.

There's also an on-line forum where we check in with each other; the conversations tend to be engaging, and encouraging. Bonnie White, the leader of this year's Resolution was a key contributor to our conversational community. It's quite a treat.

For more details and to deposit your $30 into the kitty, click here.

And just to sweeten the deal, if you sign up by Friday night, January 8, at midnight, you'll be eligible to win this Sarah Jane Studios print:  January's Fresh Start.  My gift to you. 

Source:  Sarah Jane Studios

P.S.  Nope -- I don't get paid, or remunerated in anyway to do or be a part of this.  I'm just into it because -- well -- it works.

P.P.S.  Won't you be a Resolutionary?

Interview with Segullah Founder Kathryn Soper

A few weeks ago, Kathryn Soper, one of the founders of Segullah, interviewed me.  Segullah is a journal designed to encourage literary and artistic talent amongst Latter-day Saint (aka Mormon) women.  Which I'm all about -- both the encouraging and the Mormon-ness.

You can read the interview here -- and do weigh in; already some pretty engaging comments.  I'll start responding later this afternoon! 

Thank you to Kathryn for this opportunity; she asked me some intriguing questions, pushing me to further clarify my view on the importance of 'daring to dream', especially for 'stay-at-home moms'.  

For those of you that are visiting from Segullah -- Welcome!