HBR Blog: Introductions are Much More Than Icebreakers

Icebreaker - n. a ship specially built for breaking navigable passages through ice.

Click here for my latest post over at HBR:  Introductions are Much More than Icebreakers.

Source:  istockphoto

And now for the story behind this post...

This post was initially inspired by an article about executive compensation consultant Pearl Meyer (hat tip to Stacey Petrey).  Ms. Meyer sold her business, Pearl Meyer Consulting, and its name (her name), a decade ago.  As I read her story, I kept wondering -- what would it be like to be stripped of my name?

In an interview with Forbes, she explains, “For over a decade, I declined all offers to sell my firm [the largest independent executive compensation practice in the U.S.].  When a suitor came along who said, ‘Tell me everything you want’ and said yes to everything, I sold because I didn’t want to let my partners down [each of whom stood to profit nicely].  I especially didn’t realize my name went with the sale.  That was my second big mistake.”  She continues, “When we left, I turned to Steven Hall, my senior partner, and said, "It's your turn now to use and maybe lose your name."

Ms. Meyer's experience again reminded me of a passage from The Zookeeper's Wife, a biography of Jan and Antonina Zabinski, Polish Christian zookeepers horrified by Nazi racism who managed to save over three hundred people, author Diane Ackerman's writes movingly about Polish émigré Eva Hoffman’s psychic earthquake of having to shed her name in order to save her life: “Nothing much has happened, except a small, seismic mental shift. The twist in our names takes them a tiny distance from us—but it is a gap into which the infinite hobgoblin of abstraction enters.”

Each of us has the privilege of 'saying the name' of all those with whom we interact, especially our children.  It's a simple, but effective -- and benevolent -- means of helping others dare to dream. 

Comments

[Amy Jo]

I loved the HBR post! The OR example was eye opening. I have to train at a stake event next month, and wanted people to participate. I think following this example will facilitate the success I wanted.

[Maria]

Fascinating! The HBR post is a real eye opener.

Lots of questions come up. What does my name say about me? Why is it sometimes hard to say/remember certain people's names? How do names evolve?

I resolve to do better at remembering names.

[Erik]

So, so true. Thank you, Whitney. I remember some of my first experiences seeing my children's names in print (e.g. on piece of mail or a certificate not created by me.) I always felt a little startled beause I thought, "They are out there in the world. They are their own entity." Our names our powerful things.

[Matt Langdon]

Pretty clearly I need to look into the Zabinskis' story. That should help me get to the 280 hero target :)

[Stacey P]

Loved the HBR post (as well as the DtD) - I caught the interview on NPR a few weeks back and it was excellent. One of your commentors on HBR is right - it's more than taking time for a checklist, it is taking time to create a team...

Thank you for giving this important issue a voice!

[Janna]

Just curious...for those of you who are married and took your husband's last name, how has that changed, if at all, your perception of yourself/identity? How about those of you who kept your family's surname?

[Whitney]

Janna -

I was delighted to take my husband's name because I didn't particularly like my maiden name -- and it was so early in my career, it didn't matter.

I suppose if I had gotten married in my 30s when my career was already established, it would have been different.