Krista Paulson grew up in Southern California and now resides in Colorado. Krista graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in Music (violin performance/pedagogy). She spends her time supporting her husband of 16 years through "sickness and health", while raising three inspiring children. Krista enjoys snow skiing, embarrassing her kids by singing too loud, traveling, and eating "great" food. She dreams of growing old with her husband and enjoying the journey while getting there.
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When I was a little girl I loved to go to the beach, play in the sand, and Boogie Board in the ocean. I loved being in the sun and playing in the sand and waves. My favorite pictures of me as a little girl are of me at the beach: they capture the happiest moments of my childhood. My time spent at the beach was a time for me to slow down in the busy world of growing up.
Source: istockphoto
Four years ago my adult world stopped and sped up all at once. I was a mother of three small children, helping them engage in 'busy' activities, keep our family organized, while supporting my husband in his career when he was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML). He was hospitalized almost immediately, and we soon began preparing for his bone marrow transplant. From the outset I was hopeful. He had to and would beat this cancer for our children. And I wasn't ready to be a young widow. I remember wishing desperately that this would all go away quickly so things would get back to normal.
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When I was going into 3rd grade, my elementary school closed, and I had to attend a new elementary school and was worried about making new friends. I don't know exactly when it happened, but I met a girl who would become my Best Friend for life. If I hadn't had to change schools, I would have missed out on many happy memories. Roller skating in her backyard, birthday parties, sleepovers with special apple pancake breakfasts, and our countless inside jokes. Going to a new school and feeling uncomfortable as a 3rd grader brought an unexpected and irreplaceable friendship that has brought much joy to my life.
Source: istockphoto
My husband was told he was cancer-free two months after his transplant. I joyously looked forward to life getting back to normal. When he began to have side effects from the transplant which required many doctor visits and more drugs, I found myself increasingly impatient, still looking forward, but unwilling to live in the moment.
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I was born the youngest of five children. I have memories of family dinners during which my two oldest siblings who were married would talk about different kinds of furniture they wanted and how many kids they would have. My day-to-day life of trying to "fit" in at junior high and my recent loss of being voted 8th grade president seemed irrelevant and unimportant compared to their grown-up conversations. As the youngest I always felt behind. I wanted to catch up to my siblings so we could share and have things in common. But I was never going to catch up. I would have to experience life on my own calendar.
Source: istockphoto
A year into my husband's illness I went to the cancer center to meet with the psychologist on staff. I was talking very fast about all my concerns. I was overwhelmed. My husband wasn't getting better. I had so much to do. So many responsibilities between taking care of our kids and my husband. I was at the end of my rope. I could NOT do it all. She looked at me and calmly said, "What if I told you to slow down?" Slow down? How can I slow down when I have too much to do?
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As I've experienced the hardest trial of my adult life, I have come face-to-face with two life lessons from my childhood. First, the difficulty of changing elementary schools as an eight year-old brought a lifelong friendship. My husband having cancer has been a difficult change, but it has also blessed my life. Second, as the youngest I was in a hurry to be an adult, and yet I needed to enjoy my life exactly where I was. As my husband dealt with his bone marrow transplant I wanted the process to speed up and end. I have NOW learned to not be afraid of dramatic changes and to not be in a hurry for the next milestone.
Every summer I still go to the beach. I now go with my husband and children. It is our favorite place to be together as a family. It always brings me back to living as I did as a child -- in the moment. My lifelong friend and I still get together and continue to make memories.
Source: istockphoto
Wanting time to go faster is a thought of the past. I love to live in the moment. I love having my children do less in this busy world so we can have more family time. I think of more possibilities because I have time to dream. Maybe I will go back to school and get a nursing degree or get that Masters in Music that has alluded me. Oddly enough, slowing down has taught me to look forward to my future.
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Do you remember when you were a child? What was it like to luxuriate in an entire day?
Have you ever tried slowing down when you are overwhelmed? Sometimes I do -- I just take 10 minutes at a time -- shift from everything I have to do -- to right now. It helps me -- it certainly has made all the difference for Krista. What about for you?
I love the idea of slowing down, giving us time to dream. Will you try to slow down?
What beautiful thoughts, Krista. Overbooking life is plain stressful to me. What a great reminder to carefully choose what to include in my minutes, days, weeks & life. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Rebecca | March 10, 2010 at 05:30 PM
How cool to open my email and see your name Krista! It's a smaller and smaller world than Disney ever imagined :-)
I'm so glad Mark and you are doing well. Would be so fun to get our girls together again...not that they know each other but I suspect they'd get along famously. Thanks for the great post!
Posted by: Blue | March 10, 2010 at 08:35 PM
Krista this was beautifully written. And I love this idea of slowing down. I used to think I would become invisible if I stepped aside and didn't have my fingers in a gazillion projects. Taking a sabbitical from all those demands taught me something really important. Most of it was just clutter. Most of it really didn't amount to a hill of beans. I choose more carefully now what will merit my time and attention. And I try to be more mindful of right now.
Posted by: Bonnie White | March 11, 2010 at 03:55 AM
The beauty behind this story is that Krista truly has become a better person in her efforts to slow down and appreciate the very "next ten minutes of life." Krista, you have penned this so perfectly. Thank you for taking the time to thoughtfully share your bits of wisdom and experience. We are all better for it. I LOVE YOU! Your "Nacho Average!"
Posted by: Emily | March 11, 2010 at 10:09 AM
This principle of slowing down is a hard one for me to grasp. In these past few weeks, I've had to force myself to slow down to the extent that I can, just to survive. I appreciate being able to see the beauty of living in the moment, instead of always looking ahead to the next one. I'm not sure why this is so hard for me, but when I'm thoughtful enough to make it happen, it is delicious to me.
Posted by: Jenny | March 11, 2010 at 10:15 AM
Beautiful post Krista, thanks for sharing with us.
Now that I no longer have little children at home, with all the demands on my time that that entailed, I love holding and rocking my grandbabies. This action is very grounding and helps me see life more clearly.
Posted by: Maria | March 11, 2010 at 10:33 AM
"I think of more possibilities because I have time to dream."
Wow. That is profound, Krista. Opening more time opens, well...more. I am going to think about this all week.
Posted by: Janna | March 11, 2010 at 02:02 PM
"SLOW DOWN" has been my mantra this year but it is hard! One thing that did help was, I made a new family rule that there will be no extra curricular activities for any child until they are 8 yrs old. That way I get to spend more time with them, and it also lessens the driving load. I loved everything you had to say Krista and I've enjoyed all of the comments too!
Posted by: vanessa | March 11, 2010 at 03:55 PM
Hey Krista,
I thought I was your BFF! You know I'm teasing. I loved reading the blog. It was inspirational and from the heart. I think if I could really slow down and grasp the concept of living in the moment (and enjoying it) then it would be 'the best day of my life!' You are amazing Krista Sue. Love you like a sis.
Jennie
Posted by: Jennie | March 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
BEautifully written. Unwanted curve balls from life do cause us to readjust our priorities, always in a more positive way. One of the blessings of going through trials.
Posted by: Amy | March 13, 2010 at 09:01 AM
Krista,
This was so good -- I have tears in my eyes!! Your're the best.
Lisa
Posted by: Lisa Crockett | March 13, 2010 at 11:40 AM
The hardest part for me in slowing down is not stopping. Sometimes I feel like I have a switch that has only two stations....on and off. If I slow down I stop completely. If I'm on, I'm running ragged. Great counsel by Krista, but difficult to implement.....a work in progress I guess.
Posted by: Laura | March 15, 2010 at 01:44 PM
Krista: This was a beautiful post. I loved how you tied everything together.
If we stop and ponder the many challenges we've been through in our life, we can truly see that "all things work together for our good". Thanks for the reminder of how important it is to slow down.
Posted by: yvonne | May 12, 2010 at 10:15 AM