She Negotiates: Part 2 of 4

It's Week 2 of my class She Negotiates; below are some snippets.

1.  Definition -- Negotiation is a conversation in which two people with apparently conflicting interests reach an agreement.   Many view negotiation as win-lose:  one person wins, the other loses, a zero-sum game. But negotiation can be win-win:  both parties collaborate to win, everyone is happy.  Women tend toward the latter.

2)  Experimenting -- Check out this blog The Daily Asker. in which the blogger documents her year-long experiment of asking for something daily.  Compelling and inspiring.  As we ask, we will likely get bumped around.  I know I did this week.  According to a NY Times article, Our Scars Tell the Stories of Our Lives, "scars are a sign of optimism."  I guess that means I'm optimistic.  Very.

3)  Discovering -- As I work through the mini-assignments, I'm recognizing that negotiating is a competency you and I can acquire.  When we negotiate we are learning to say say 'yes' and 'no', to make choices about who we want to be, and to act and not be acted upon -- all are requisite for making our dreams happen. 

Source:  istockphoto

I'm also discovering that this can be a lot of fun, like a game, one at which we all can win.  In the words of one of our instructors Lisa Gates, "Doesn't it feel powerfully creative to know that you have all these toys in your treasure chest, or chocolate-covered cherries in your candy assortment?"  Yes, Lisa, it does.

***

What if each of us were to ask for something every day for a week?

When you negotiate, do you view it as a win-lose, or a win-win?  Does it depend on who you are negotiating with?

What was the last thing you negotiated?  What happened?

What were negotiations like in your family growing up?  How are they different now?

What toys would you like to add to your treasure chest?

Comments

[Matt Langdon]

Thanks for keeping us informed on this. Very interesting stuff. I feel like I get negotiated with, but never initiate it.

[Roxy]

Hi Whitney, thanks a ton for linking to me! I love what you write about and how you approach these issues. How about we connect on email/facebook/twitter, trade ideas and maybe even plot some negotiation and asking extravaganza!? I'll follow up with an email next week.
Take care,
Roxy

[Lisa Gates]

Whitney, this is definitely a competency YOU will master. You are the quickest study on the planet methinks.

Thank you so much for blogging about your experience. What I especially appreciate is following the links to your other blog posts. Nice to see how the dots connect in your world.

[Erik Orton]

I like to the idea of scars representing optimism. Two things come to mind: 1) that we are hopeful enough to try something that's risky; something where we might get hurt and 2) that we are able to heal afterwards...and hopefully try again.

[Maria]

"act and not be acted upon". Profound.