In January 2010, Bain consultant turned stay-at-home mom Kristy Williams wrote a posted titled Five Dreams I Think I'll Date. At that time, I asked Kristy if she'd be willing to write a follow-up piece in July; she kindly agreed.
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Six months ago I began a process of dating some of my dreams – spending some time on several potential dreams to determine which ones I really wanted to pursue. The process was fascinating and shockingly quick. In one case, within an hour I knew it was time to move on to something else. Forcing myself to focus on things I enjoyed in theory helped me to determine where my passions truly lie. The end result culminated in the pursuit of a dream not even on the list.
Outside of those tasks I am duty-bound to perform, I really want to love what I’m doing. And guess what – I don’t, at least right now, love the California governor’s race. I read up on all the candidates from both major parties and determined that my political views were most in line with Meg Whitman’s. However, as I looked into how I could get involved with her campaign, I felt a sense of drudgery instead of excitement. I am not exactly sure why I was so unenthusiastic, but I can’t deny how I felt. Drudgery is not the feeling I want associated with my free time. I suspect someday I will want to become more involved in politics, but for now my focus is elsewhere.
Source: istockphoto
Dating made it clear that I do enjoy writing, but only opportunistically, as interesting topics come to mind or as publishing opportunities come available. I was able to publish, on www.designmom.com, the story of my struggle to conceive, and continue to look for another opportunity to “publish” before the end of the year. As for business consulting, I am helping my sister as she starts a wedding invitation business, www.whitefielddesign.com (she’s a designer by training; I help on the business and editing side). As I considered other opportunities in this area, I realized that at least in the short-term, I need to be passionate about the person I’m consulting for. My free time is too limited and money not enough of a motivator to engage too deeply in this area right now. So again, an area I enjoy but where I will remain – for now– only moderately involved.
As I considered how to best date my teaching dream, I realized I’m already pursuing this on a small scale – I am the Sunday School teacher for the adults at my church. I love this assignment, but also wanted to try something else. After some deliberation, I decided to start a non-fiction book club. I hoped this would allow me to learn about interesting topics and to discuss them with people I respect. The first three meetings have been a great success. I send out discussion questions in advance and lead the discussion, which seems to meet my desire for teaching, and I also get to learn from the ideas and experiences of others. My favorite read thus far is “Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide” by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. Next on the list is Outliers, which should be an interesting departure from the concepts we’ve previously discussed.
Source: istockphoto
The most meaningful insight from all this dating and dreaming was inspired by a comment Robin Dickinson left on my initial post – “I read your post with great interest and would like to propose an idea: Mentoring inspiring and compassionate leaders.” This idea excited me more than any of the potential dreams I came up with on my own. As I fleshed out the idea, I decided I wanted to mentor female students from my alma mater, BYU, who were interested in a career in business consulting.
From that effort I realized what I really want to do with my precious time is organize and carry-out a Women in Business conference at BYU – attended (hopefully) by students, working professionals, and women like myself who are currently focusing their attentions on the home. I’ve been brainstorming the idea for several months now and have recently begun to engage others in order to make this a reality (if you have any interest in planning or participating, please let me know – I’m in the very initial stages of planning and am targeting a March 2011 date and a Provo, UT location).
Source: istockphoto
In dreaming up and planning this conference, I find myself fully energized. I see a real need to bring together like-minded women to discuss the issues unique to women in business, especially women of faith who value family, motherhood, and excellence in all things. I hope to help students better understand the various paths available to them and identify role models and mentors who can help them as they make important career and life decisions. In addition, I hope the conference can be a valuable tool for those of us far past our school days – providing an opportunity to expand our network, make interesting personal connections, and explore how we can live our faith while developing our talents and keeping up our skills.
Dating my dreams has been a wonderful experience, with the result being far from what I expected. I hope to repeat this exercise every few years and really look forward to what I will discover.
What dream have you dated recently?
Any unexpected dreams, as has been the case with Kristy?
Any thoughts for her about what you'd like to see her do with a Women In Business conference?
What a great concept. I'm going to set up some dates with my dreams today - it's time to see if they have long-term relationship potential.
Posted by: Matt Langdon | July 24, 2010 at 09:50 AM
You are inspiring Kristy. I'm interested in helping you plan your conference.
Posted by: Julia | July 24, 2010 at 10:34 AM
Love the conference idea. I wonder if it can be televised on BYU tv for women who can't attend. I'd love to see it be inclusive of all moms. I am an empty nester but still want LDS support and networking opportunities. Single sisters may enjoy it too.
Posted by: Dana King | July 24, 2010 at 07:29 PM
Dating is a wonderful term for exploring! I am my finishing up my last career change of becoming a science teacher. My very long date was teaching math for half a year. I thought this relationship better be worth all the education I needed to become married to my career as a teacher. (at least I will be married during my time in the classroom)
Posted by: Jeanne Boudreau | July 25, 2010 at 10:25 PM
Kristy, I love your idea of a business conference for women. I've been dating event planning off and on for several years now; would be happy to share what I know and help with the conference.
Posted by: Adele Marcum | July 26, 2010 at 09:40 AM
"Outside of those tasks I am duty-bound to perform, I really want to love what I’m doing.... is not the feeling I want associated with my free time"
The statements above kind of woke me up. I think I have been doing too many thing I do not love. I am going to give this some serious thought.
Thank you Kristy. I love the idea of a business conference at BYU, I would love to help.
Posted by: Maria | July 26, 2010 at 11:58 AM
Thanks for all of your wonderful comments. For those interested in supporting the conference, please email me at [email protected] . I look forward to connecting with you! To Dana, we would like to have it filmed - if not televised, perhaps accessible via internet links. And we definitely want it to be inclusive of both married and single women (and empty nesters!).
Posted by: Kristy Williams | July 27, 2010 at 04:11 PM
I am excited about the idea of a business conference at BYU, and would love to help. I also loved your comments and am using your ideas to find some dreams I can date.
Posted by: Edna | September 12, 2010 at 11:58 PM
Kristy - did this Conference take place, how did it turn out and will you do another one?
Posted by: Louan Christensen | January 08, 2012 at 12:51 PM