The Optimist Challenge

Everything was going my way last Thursday until one of my shortcomings punched me in the stomach.

How I wish I could recover from these blows easily.  But I can't quite.  Ask me in that moment to list ten things that went well just prior.  I can do it, but the punch to the gut still eclipses the ten good.  Living in anticipation of that one bad thing has resulted in my being a near-term pessimist. Optimists are hopeful about future outcomes.  Underlying that hope is that there will be enough.  Enough resources, whether money, praise, recognition.  And the truth is, I don't believe there will be enough, at least as resolutely or frequently as I'd like.  Sure, over the long-term I believe everything will work out.  But in the very short-term, I tend to see the glass as half empty. 

What I do believe, however, is that we can rewire how we view the world.

Perhaps that is why Tony Schwartz' article How I Became an Optimist resonated so strongly. In his blog post, he tells of when his business partner with whom he had just co-authored a bestseller, announced he was ready to move on.  Taken aback, and given his pessmistic bent, Schwartz was inclined to wallow in his misfortune.  With a young family to support, however, he had to decide if he could see the glass as half-full.

 
Source: stockphoto

Having decided that he would become an optimist, every day for several months, Schwartz did the following:

1. Wake up and write down what he was worrying about -- just the facts.
2. Write down the story he was telling himself about the facts.
3. Work to write the most conceivably optimistic story he could tell himself based on the same incontrovertible facts.

"A fact is irrefutable," Schwartz writes.  "It can be objectively verified by any person.  A story is something we weave to make sense of the facts.  We are meaning making creatures.  We seek to understand."

I've decided I'm going to do this too.

Every day for one month; I'll report back during Memorial Day Weekend.

Are you an optimist?  Long-term?  Near-term?

How does learning near-term optimism help you move toward your dreams?

In Kare Anderson's post Say It So You Lift Your Spirits she suggests that when we tell stories about our lives, we notice those incidents that are anchored with negative emotions, and then try to reframe them by searching for the redemptive details.

You may also enjoy Why Your Negative Outlook is Killing Your Career.  It applies not just to a career, but to life.  Take note of the first suggestion. 

Comments

[Tony Schwartz]

Whitney,
I wish you well on this challenge. It's possible that one month may not be enough to fully rewire your brain, but I'm optimistic you'll find value in the exercise itself, day by day. I'll look forward to hearing how you did! If you're looking for support along the way, feel free to email me.
Carpe Diem!

[amy]

You're so optimistic with everyone else and their dreams and aspirations you do have optimism in you and I know you'll find it!

[Rebecca]

I'm an optimist about most things, but definitely pessimistic about others that I don't feel in control of. Thanks for the link to the article. I'm fascinated by this challenge. Good luck....it sounds like it could be a very powerful experience, not only in changing your outlook, but in changing what you are able to accomplish. Sometimes pessimism is the only thing holding me back.

[Alyson Jenkins]

I think I needed your post today. In light of the craziness around me in Japan these days, I find myself trying to re-story my worries to decrease invisible fog anxiety that looms around me, just below the surface of every stoic face I see. I am going to jump in your wagon of optimism fand ride along for the next month. I think being more concrete (by writing) about how I make meaning of my experiences these days could help me be move forward and accomplish more of my dreams. I am pessimistic about my ability to keep this up everyday for a month, though. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I remember you saying something about having to set aside the time to make it (dreams) happen. Right now, all I have is time. So I guess now is the moment. Whitney, your encouragement is as far reaching as it is priceless. Thank you, friend.

[kare anderson]

How you to instigate this.

You've inspired me to join you in this practice.

Perhaps we can all meet up here and share our experiences.

Relatedly you may want to read a book, based on a practice the co-authors crafted from their life of learning, The Life We Are Given by Michael Murphy (co-founder of Esalen) and George Leonard. I was blessed to be a part of one of their early groups on which they honed the practice described in this book. Life-changing, humbling and really helped me in self-awareness and connecting to a larger vision
http://www.amazon.com/Life-Are-Given-Inner-Workbook/dp/0874777925

[[email protected]]

what a GREAT post. Optimism can be hard...but so necessary. Thanks for sharing! You indeed have helped me look for the good in life...

[Maria]

I have been told that I am "annoyingly optimistic".

I figure that since we are just making up our stories anyway, assuming stuff, guessing, I might as well assume the best!

[Michelle Anthony]

Whitney,
Again, your words reach me at exactly the place I am at. My husband just lost his job and while I know in the long run, it will open up better things, in the short run I am absolutely terrified. With a young family, I feel very lost and holding on to the optimism is so hard. Thanks for the encouragement, as always.

[Jenny]

Happy Optimistic Days Ahead!!!

[Nilofer Merchant]

I look forward to learning how this plays out. I'll add onto the pile of resources. Fred Luskin is a forgiveness expert and he tells a story of his mother-in-law. There was this one particular thing she did that drove him crazy insane. So whenever he thought of her, that she was coming to visit, etc... that would occupy his energy. It would consume him the week prior to the visit, then during the whole visit, and so on... but the actual incident lasted 5 minutes. And then he asked a question about whether he was willing to give up 2-3 weeks of time to this 5 minute incident. It's probably my analytic mind that just loves the math part of that story. "how much time does this deserve" is a way to think then about how much we want to obsess about the negative.

[tamara]

I love this. Totally agree with the idea that we can rewire our thinking. It takes work -- and it's worth it! :)

I also really love talking about the "interpretation" of facts, as Schwartz did.
There's an old quote that I have somewhere from an old journalism professor who said something like this... "Journalists deal with facts. Once they start acting as if they are dealing with truth is when they get into trouble."
I took that to mean that as journalists - and people - we come across facts all the time, but it's our job (as people, not journalists) to figure out what those facts mean to us.
Or as my mom always says, "It's all about attitude."

[david]

Liking your blog.

Here's a piece i wrote a tree, which is mostly built with optimism.

http://blog.thedolectures.co.uk/2011/04/“you’re-the-one-”-a-simple-tale-of-how-trees-are-built-on-optimism/

david

[Whitney]

What a wonderful combination of insights and encouragement! I'm really looking forward to this challenge!

[Jennifer Thomas]

This is exactly what I needed to hear! I have become more pessimistic in the last few years, and I'm ready to tackle that downward slide into negativity. Mind if I do this alongside you?

[elizabeth]

i "re" discovered your blog today (yes, this time I will bookmark). What a ray of light it has been :) Look forward to hearing your report. thanks so much!

[Laurel]

you already know how I feel about this.
You're doing it a bit more formally than I am but I can attest that living life as an optimist is harder...and better...than not.

Can't wait to hear your update.

[Lisle]

I love optimism! And I'm sure you're doing a great job!