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August 17, 2011


Julia I found your perspective refreshing. Choosing "stay at home rear the children" was my choice too but I could never shake the demon that whispered it wasn't enough or suggested that I could/should be more. NOw with the children gone, I have time to evaluate what I will do next but honestly I can't seem to find anything that I have loved more, that has demanded more of me or been as rewarding as rearing this family.

I love this, Julia. What a marvelous reminder about perspective. Thank you!

Thank you! I am a young mom and have never been more content with my life than I am now teaching my baby to walk and my other daughter to read. I LOVE it! Sometimes I feel like I "should" feel like I'm missing out on something, but at the same time I don't want to waste my time with my babies to be wishing for something else. Thank you for your beautiful words.

Julia - This is such a stunningly true synopsis of your life and what is important to you. That you can know right now, in the moment, the fulfillment (partial, of course) of your dreams is a gift. May you keep opening it daily, with exclamations of delight.

What a great reminder to not let others tell you what your dream should be! I also like that you consciously decide when it's okay to be temporarily distracted. Thanks for sharing!

What an intelligent and tender post - beautiful and real.

I. LOVE. JULIA. Even more now. I feel like we missed a really important conversation at camp, somehow, but I'm glad to see it here. Thank you for putting all of this into words for the rest of us!

Beautiful. I love the way you describe the good and the "ugly" of your day-to-day and how unique service to your family can be a kind of self-indulgence. It is important to dream and plan, but we must also allow ourselves to enjoy the now. Today may be the realization of a personal dream... soak it up before it has passed!

What a beautiful post! Thank you for putting into words so many of the things that I feel all of the time. I, too, am living out my dream amidst the dirty dishes, homework, laughter and tears.

I don't mean to take issue with Julia's dream because I truly believe she is legitimately living out her dream - and she is clearly amazing at it.

That said, many women are not living their dreams because they believe the false dichotomy that they must choose either motherhood or a career. They feel extreme pressure to do one or the other. Clearly, that is not Julia's situation as she could easily do both if she wanted to! But, she doesn't want that, which is totally cool.

But, I just feel the need to state clearly that to think that one cannot have two dreams - motherhood and careerhood - is a false idea. Men do it all the time - be a parent and have a fulfilling career.

I believe that women do not HAVE to choose one or the other - motherhood or a career. They can do both. Unless, of course they don't want to do both! But, it's not an impossibility if they do.

You've put my thoughts and feelings into words! Early in my mothering career I often felt overwhelmed or like I was not doing enough.

As I got older I relaxed and I'm so glad I took the time to enjoy every possible minute with my children.

My youngest just left on a 2 year mission.

I loved this. Thank you.

And just a thought in response to this comment: "But, I just feel the need to state clearly that to think that one cannot have two dreams - motherhood and careerhood - is a false idea. Men do it all the time - be a parent and have a fulfilling career. "

I think this is only partly true. My husband doesn't have the same experiences I do as the stay-at-home parent. He's not there for the little things during the day that I get to do and see -- both the awesome and the hard.

I think it's good to realize that there is a spectrum of choices that can be made, but what I love about this post is that Julia is savoring what those who do choose to work aren't likely to be able to do to the same degree. While it's true that a woman can work and do motherhood, I think we need to be honest that if she does, she will miss some of the experiences Julia is talking about. Just as Julia isn't having the professional experiences other women are having.

No choice will allow a woman to 'have it all.' Every choice has its opportunity costs.

There is so much I would like to say.

But for the moment, I'll leave it at this:

I am so grateful for each of you, that you show, courageously share your ideas and feelings, around topics of great import -- who we are and the dream we dream -- and that you do so civilly and collegially.

There are few forums where this happens, and yet it happens here. And we are all the richer for it.


Thank you Julia for sharing your dream, and thank you for your honesty. I am in the beginning stages of motherhood, and find such wisdom (born from experience I don't have) in what you have shared here. I hope that I can ensure any distractions I allow are worth what I am giving up in time with my children.

Absolutely LOVE this! Comically over-committed was my favorite phrase. We've all been there! Terrific thoughts on motherhood!

Thank you Julia--I loved the part about waking up in the morning and choosing what you will do with the day. I think that is what I like about being stay at home too!

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About this blog

  • When I took a sabbatical from Wall Street to pursue a different dream and help others live theirs, I learned that women in the U.S. may be placated, even pampered, but because we aren't dreaming, we are also desperate and depressed. Drawing on a variety of sources, ranging from academic studies to pop culture, dare to dream encourages us to dream. And then to act on our dreams.


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